Financial Workplace Survival Guide – CH 020

Chapter 20 ☆, Who is the Spider Weaving the Web?

Mary was both simple and complex. She could easily discern people’s hearts, yet she never bothered to apply rigorous logic to judging relationships. Her confidence in her intuition made her rarely consider the practical issues that ordinary people would.

By the age of fourteen or fifteen, she had already become the center of a group with ease. She was the adored figure of her peers and the darling of her teachers.

Mediation.

This skill, which required experience to master, was a natural ability for Mary.

In college, she was simply walking down the shopping street eating ice cream when she was invited to be a model for a car show.

Others might have to go through layers of screening to even land a part-time job with a low hourly wage. But for Mary, opportunity fell from the sky. Attractive, dedicated, and well-spoken, she soon secured strong partnerships with several modeling agencies. Her part-time modeling career alone was enough to earn her a pot of gold.

This didn’t make her complacent. She dated seriously, even skipping classes and drinking for romance, but her grades always remained among the best in the school.

This ability to easily achieve good results in everything gave her an air of relaxed, carefree confidence, which further enhanced her charm.

People who take things easy rarely try to step on others to get ahead, because their gains come effortlessly, and there’s no need to compete for them.

Even when she’d fallen in love with Han Canghai at first sight and had chosen him to study history, she hadn’t experienced any particularly painful struggles or innate efforts.

She easily blended in, cultivating a love for history and even developing some insights of her own.

By the time she reached thirty, the biggest obstacles and pains Mary had faced were simply romantic problems. She admired Scarlett O’Hara in “Gone with the Wind” and adopted “Tomorrow is another day” as her life motto.

But she couldn’t let go of Han Canghai. She couldn’t tell if it was an obsession, a desire to conquer, or perhaps if she had truly met the love of her life.

No matter how much she wanted to leave, no matter how much she tried to comfort herself by saying she could find someone else, she couldn’t help but approach Han Canghai when she saw him.

On the dance floor, a group of men and women expressed their feelings through body language.

Mary only needed to glance at them to tell: this couple liked each other, that couple was testing each other, and the couple in the distance, dancing with a fierce hostility, must have disliked each other.

But she couldn’t judge Han Canghai’s attitude.

Even while they were dancing, with his hand on her, Han Canghai maintained a distant politeness. He wasn’t wearing a mask, and Mary could see through it to see his expression.

The corners of his lips neither rose nor fell, forming a natural, emotionless arc. As if completely absorbed in the dance, Mary looked at him, but he never once glanced at her.

Mary didn’t know whether to speak. She replayed their conversation a thousand times in her mind. Should she say, “It’s been a while,” lightly and casually? Or should she be direct?

“Han Canghai, you dumped me for this blind date. Did you meet someone better than me?”

But all this remained in her mind. After the dance ended, Han Canghai stepped back, bowed slightly, and turned to leave.

Mary didn’t speak, and he didn’t seem to recognize her.

But Mary had no interest in the following activities. After searching for Xin Xin and not seeing her, she called her, but a man answered. “She’s asleep.”

Mary sounded alert. “Who are you? Where is she?”

The person on the other end seemed to have been woken by the noise, their voice already exhausted. “Zhao Ningyan, this is Zheng Zaochuan. I’ll take her there tomorrow. She’s seasick and vomited all over me. Don’t worry, I didn’t just throw her overboard to feed the fish, and I don’t think I’ll do that again.”

Mary had known Zheng Zaochuan for years. Although she wasn’t very familiar with him, she had always had a good impression of him. She even thought, at one point, that if his loyalty wasn’t a factor, he’d still be a good man.

Most importantly, a man like him wouldn’t take advantage of someone in need. So Mary put her worries to rest and went back to sleep, feeling dejected.

Xin Xin was also feeling miserable. She’d spent the night in a daze, feeling like a sailor tossed by the waves. She knew she’d vomited, but she also knew someone was busy taking care of her.

She recognized him; it was Zheng Zaochuan. He’d changed into home clothes, his hair a mess.

Xin Xin couldn’t tell for a moment whether the tall, handsome man she’d seen earlier was Zheng Zaochuan. Zheng Zaochuan also gave her some warm milk and a seasickness pill, and only then did she finally sleep peacefully.

Inopportunely, she recalled the night years ago when she’d vomited from eating sashimi. Perhaps it wasn’t the sashimi but the seasickness.

When Xin Xin woke up the next day, she saw Zheng Zaochuan, wrapped in a blanket, sleeping beside her with a frown on his face. He slept soundly, a polite distance between them. Xin Xin wasn’t at all flustered and even had the leisure to admire his face.

Zheng Zaochuan’s expression was usually full of life, always vibrant. Despite his delicate, fair features, he gave off a rather aggressive aura. But when he slept, he looked much younger than his actual age, remarkably peaceful, as if nothing was bothering him even in his dreams.

There was no melodramatic drama. The skirt Xin Xin had worn for the dance was still wrinkled, with some suspiciously rubbed marks.

Xin Xin yawned and carefully avoided Zheng Zaochuan as she pulled up the blanket. Just as she was about to leave, her arm was grabbed.

“Okay, ungrateful.”

“No, I’m going to go back and get dressed and come back to thank you.”

Zheng Zaochuan rubbed his eyes, not letting go of her hand or opening them. “This is great. I don’t have to get up, and I still have someone to talk to.”

Xin Xin smiled, “Are you worried about no one talking to you?”

“Yeah, I am. I hate being alone in the morning. I want you to talk, to keep me company.”

His tone was soft, almost coquettish.

Xin Xin was startled, her heart skipping a beat. Zheng Zaochuan was truly a popular figure. He could blurt out meaningless words, yet he could leave others bewildered.

Xin Xin sighed and said unconsciously, “I don’t want to be with you anymore. Otherwise, I’ll want you to be with me next time.”

Zheng Zaochuan suddenly opened his eyes and looked at Xin Xin. “If it’s you, I’ll always be here.”

The lingering atmosphere in the air made Xin Xin’s breath stutter. Zheng Zaochuan’s eyes seemed bright, like stars in a clear sky, brimming with eager anticipation.

Xin Xin seemed to understand what he was expecting, yet also seemed to not quite understand. If she hadn’t known Zheng Zaochuan so well and known so much about him, she would have almost believed the emotion in his eyes.

But she quickly looked away. “Change your clothes. A blind date for 2,000 yuan isn’t worth it if you don’t meet a few people.”

Zheng Zaochuan was furious. “Are you so eager to get married?”

Xin Xin left him with her back, shutting out his voice in the room, and fled in a hurry.

Back in the room, Mary was already waiting to interrogate Xin Xin. Xin Xin told Mary everything she had remembered, growing increasingly frightened as she spoke. At the end, Xin Xin angrily concluded, “Zheng Zaochuan is really like a spider, sitting there spinning silk, waiting for prey to come. It’s terrifying. I almost got entangled.”

Mary was shocked by Xin Xin’s remarks. After a long pause, she said with difficulty, “Then… is it possible that he just likes you?”

Xin Xin never felt that Zheng Zaochuan didn’t like her, but she didn’t think that Zheng Zaochuan would always like her or only like her. She thought that this was undesirable.

Mary, bewildered by Xin Xin’s confusion, asked her bluntly, “Stop talking about nonsense. Do you like him?”

Xin Xin almost didn’t think twice. “Yes.”

“Then why can’t you be with him?”

“It’s not suitable.”

“Why not?”

Xin Xin thought for a long time. “Zheng Zaochuan and I are completely different people. He’ll never give me the stability I want. Similarly, I might like his good looks and exciting life, but if we were really together, I’d be uneasy about his erratic behavior.”

Mary pondered. In her world, love was a black-and-white thing. If it were her, she might have resolutely chosen to be with him after countless moments of mutual testing.

But Xin Xin was different. She said Zheng Zaochuan was like a spider, but in reality, she was the one who was like a spider.

“Have you ever considered that people like you are like spiders? On the surface, you appear harmless, focused on your own affairs. You’re always calm and maintain a proper distance. Others reach out again and again, trying to be nice to you, hoping to see the slightest flaw in you. But you’re completely insincere. At the slightest hint of insecurity, you already anticipate others will hurt you.”

Xin Xin looked at Mary quietly, gently wiping away her tears.

Mary smiled, tears welling up in her eyes. “How treacherous! Asking you if you like someone, you only get a response of ‘if they’re suitable’ or ‘not suitable.’ You want others to bare their hearts and reveal all their cards, and at the slightest hesitation, you sentence them to death.”

They were talking about Xin Xin, but Mary was clearly talking about her and Han Canghai.

Xin Xin thought of Zheng Zaochuan, the same ease, the same recklessness, and the same charm as he moved between different members of the opposite sex.

She might have seen Zheng Zaochuan’s sincerity; she, too, had moments of infatuation. But she always wondered if she’d given others the same excited, puppy-like, fiery gaze. And then, when others plunged headfirst into it, those eyes regained their composure, gazing out at the larger world.

In that moment, Xin Xin felt both heartache for Mary’s emotional failure and, beyond the layers of hesitation, understanding of Han Canghai’s feelings.

It wasn’t that they didn’t love; it was that they didn’t dare to love. Like two parallel lines, they were attracted to each other, yet unable to understand each other.

Mary was originally named Zhao Ningyan. She found it difficult to pronounce, so she chose a more common English name.

While many people sought to attract attention by adopting unique names or doing something special, she didn’t need to do anything. Simply by being called Mary, everyone in the company would think of her.

Her signature long curly hair, her charming smile, and her bright and free-spirited personality. Her presence had become a signature.

Han Canghai might not be unloving, but rather, while hopelessly attracted, he felt he might lose her.

Mary said, “I’ll ask again. This time, if he says he absolutely won’t be with me, I’ll give up.” She then advised Xin Xin, “If you miss Zheng Zaochuan, perhaps you’ll never meet someone like him again, just like if Han Canghai missed me, he wouldn’t meet someone who liked him so much.”