Financial Workplace Survival Guide – CH 084

Chapter 84 ☆, The Sour Smell of Love.

For a long time, Zheng Zaochuan’s feelings were very complicated. Xin Xin’s attitude towards Zhao Xi made him feel that there were some inexplicable feelings between them.

Once people had preconceived notions, they would interpret even perfectly reasonable behaviors in a very unreasonable way.

For example, on many occasions when Zheng Zaochuan and Xin Xin were discussing business, Zhao Xi would call to inquire about the progress.

From Xin Xin’s perspective, this was simply a matter of her boss urging her to finish her work.

But from Zheng Zaochuan’s perspective, it was a matter of reporting to each other between boyfriend and girlfriend.

In the years they’ve known each other, Zheng Zaochuan had asked Xin Xin about it before, and Xin Xin had denied it. But in Zheng Zaochuan’s subjective understanding, this denial became a sad, clandestine love affair that could not be made public in the workplace.

Before Zheng Zaochuan mentioned these things, Xin Xin never imagined that others would perceive her and Zhao Xi as having this kind of relationship.

Xin Xin found it strange and suddenly asked Zheng Zaochuan, “If you thought Zhao Xi and I had this kind of relationship, why did you keep contacting me? Should you not avoid suspicion?”

Zheng Zaochuan looked awkwardly embarrassed and touched his nose. “I thought I was poaching someone else’s girlfriend.”

Xin Xin’s eyes widened slowly. “Huh?”

Zheng Zaochuan said very seriously, “When Zhao Xi was transferred, did I not ask you what you planned to do?”

Xin Xin vaguely remembered that Zheng Zaochuan had indeed asked this question, which made her even more confused. “So?”

Zheng Zaochuan laughed. “I think that was a great opportunity for the mistress to take over.”

Xin Xin was dumbfounded. “How exactly have you defined our relationship all these years?”

This time, Zheng Zaochuan answered the question very simply, “You and Zhao Xi are having a secret relationship, and I’m your backup plan.”

Xin Xin’s mouth dropped open in astonishment. “You’re my backup plan?”

Zheng Zaochuan sighed, “I never expected that I wouldn’t even be a backup option; you only saw me as a customer.”

Xin Xin laughed. “Yes, you’re a client, and Zhao Xi’s a boss. You’d rather believe that my kindness to you is just to provide for your own feelings than believe that I treat you like my benefactor.”

Looking at the box of photos, Zheng Zaochuan suddenly realized, “Actually, thinking about it now, I think I’ve liked you for a long time, but I just didn’t realize it at first.”

Xin Xin was confused. To be honest, Zheng Zaochuan’s feelings for her were not obvious.

Or perhaps his initial behavior suggested extreme irresponsibility towards relationships, which made Xin Xin never consider any potential development between them.

Xin Xin had her own definition of whether or not she liked someone.

Unlike Mary, who could tell at a glance whether someone liked her or not, Xin Xin’s affections were often accompanied by a thoughtful consideration and a steady weighing of pros and cons.

This composure was often mistaken for insincerity.

But Xin Xin had always felt that her own feelings were reliable and responsible. In relationships, she was like a lukewarm herbivore, needing to constantly ruminate in order to figure out her true feelings.

Strictly speaking, Zheng Zaochuan was not someone who could immediately realize his own feelings. Perhaps it started with curiosity, then became a natural choice; when bored, lonely, or in pain, he wanted to be by this person’s side.

One day, while looking at his privately kept photos, he suddenly realized how important the other person was to him.

But he was unwilling to be the other person’s backup choice. Like someone with obsessive-compulsive disorder, he constantly tested whether he was the other person’s firm choice. Rather than not wanting to ruin their existing relationship, he was more afraid that the other person would choose to abandon him after realizing the real him.

This conflicting feeling made him act like a fickle jerk, testing the other person’s limits with his capriciousness.

Beneath his cynical, willful, and carefree exterior lay a fragile, sensitive, and suspicious inner self. He desperately yearned for unchanging love, yet also despairingly believed that there was no such thing as eternal love in this world.

Zheng Zaochuan was like a child who could not manage his emotions and could not accept loss, so he pretended that he did not want it.

On the surface, Xin Xin appeared to be a more cautious person, but in reality, she was the more stable one. She could naturally express her needs, she could bravely confess her feelings, and she could also decisively leave. Xin Xin did not understand Zheng Zaochuan’s conflicted attitude before, but now she was beginning to understand his feelings.

She gently kissed Zheng Zaochuan, then naturally put the photo away. “The photo you took of me is better than I am in person. Let me buy a photo album to keep the photos. We can use our photos together for anniversaries in the future.”

Zheng Zaochuan suddenly had a brilliant idea: “Let’s make a photo wall. We can put up a lot of photos in that long corridor in front of the dining room.”

Xin Xin thought Zheng Zaochuan was just talking.

Unexpectedly, the next day, Zheng Zaochuan enthusiastically set up a photo wall at home and even bought a Polaroid camera, taking photos with the camera whenever he had a spare moment.

Xin Xin was in agony—recording everything big and small and collecting daily photos was something a teenager would do.

They were in their thirties, yet they’ve become young again, doing things that high school students would do.

Mary’s assessment of this was, “People will eventually be trapped by what they could not have in their youth.”

Xin Xin suddenly realized that she was thinking of Zheng Zaochuan’s difficult adolescence. In such a chaotic and turbulent youth, he certainly did not had time to think about these romantic relationships.

For a long time, Zheng Zaochuan was like a bowstring drawn taut, with no time to rest.

After achieving a certain degree of financial freedom, Zheng Zaochuan began to pursue his dream of family life and was truly happy with every ordinary day.

Although Xin Xin thought it was a bit childish, she didn’t spoil the fun. She accompanied him to wear matching outfits, rode roller coasters together in matching outfits on weekends, watched movies at midnight, and strolled in the rain.

This kind of dating game made Zheng Zaochuan increasingly unsatisfied.

Zheng Zaochuan asked her, “What were you doing when you were dating your boyfriend from college?”

Like all women who were asked about their exes.

Xin Xin lied through her teeth, “We just studied together.”

Zheng Zaochuan was even envious of such a small thing, insisting that Xin Xin take him back to her alma mater, unwilling to have missed out on being a part of Xin Xin’s past. Xin Xin’s alma mater was not far, located in the tourist hotspot of Xihai City; a short holiday would be enough time for a trip.

“Why did you not stay in Xihai after graduation? Why did you come to Haining?” Zheng Zaochuan asked casually.

Xin Xin froze, almost biting her tongue.

It had been so long that she had completely forgotten that she came to Haining because it was already arranged with Zhou Yiran. This was Zhou Yiran’s hometown, and they had planned to come together. At that time, Xin Xin was still a naive and foolish ivory tower master’s student.

This all went back to her childhood. Her great-aunt was the principal of an elementary school in Harbin. She started school early and had outstanding grades, so she skipped the third and fourth grades and was three years younger than her peers when she graduated with her master’s degree.

This three-year age gap may not be very noticeable after many years of working. But for someone who had just graduated and started working, the gap was practically an insurmountable chasm.

At that time, she was in her early twenties, naive and clueless, with no plans or ideas for the future.

But Zhou Yiran was already an adult. He prepared her resume and quickly arranged their future together.

“Haining has a good economy and is the provincial capital. Besides, Haining and Jiangcheng are now integrated, and compared to other first-tier cities, the pace of life in Haining is not as fast. In addition, my parents live in Haining, so when we get married and have children, they can help us take care of them.”

Zhou Yiran nodded his head, leaving Xin Xin stunned. Without a second thought, Xin Xin packed her bags and followed.

However, she didn’t expect that Zhou Yiran would change not long after they started working together. Even until their final breakup, Zhou Yiran’s reason was that Xin Xin was immature, lacked a comprehensive plan for the future, and that it was Xin Xin’s fault for not keeping up with his progress.

Xin Xin recounted this story to Zheng Zaochuan in a lighthearted manner, not because she was deliberately avoiding the conflict, but because she genuinely could not remember it.

Looking back now, perhaps Zhou Yiran was right. Her feelings for him were youthful and impetuous, and her plans for the future were completely illogical. As a result, the ‘betrayal’ didn’t leave much of a scar on her heart.

Youth was the best medicine. She was too young, too young to feel the heavy weight of betrayal.

Zheng Zaochuan was a little unhappy. “I don’t like Haining anymore.”

Xin Xin comforted him, “It doesn’t matter; he was just a passerby. I saw him again later, and he had become ugly. Luckily I didn’t chase after him, otherwise I would definitely dislike him now.”

Zheng Zaochuan was not fooled and pressed on, “What if I become ugly after we get married?”

Xin Xin glanced at Zheng Zaochuan and exclaimed in horror, “No way?”

Zheng Zaochuan asked coyly, “Tell me, what do you like about me?”

Xin Xin answered very quickly: “Handsome.”

“Anything else?”

Xin Xin began to think seriously. Zheng Zaochuan was interesting and had some money, but without the prerequisite of being ‘handsome,’ all of that might be worthless.

Zheng Zaochuan turned his head away angrily, “You really are after my body.”

Xin Xin said guiltily, “I’m sorry; I’m a shallow person.”

In reality, admitting that you were a superficial person was a difficult thing. Especially for an ordinary woman, who had been told since childhood that ‘a man’s appearance is not important.’

But after years of blind dating, Xin Xin had to admit that she was a superficial person and found it difficult to be attracted to only interesting souls.

Zheng Zaochuan had obviously thought of this question as well and pressed Xin Xin relentlessly, “If that chubby boy had been very handsome back then, would you have fallen in love with him?”

Xin Xin said seriously, “There are no ‘what ifs’ in life.”

Then, she quickly glanced at the train ticket and dramatically changed the subject: “If you’re free this weekend, I’ll take you back to school for fried rice noodles; they’re super delicious.”

Zheng Zaochuan was appeased and began to look forward to it seriously.

Meanwhile, after a long period of turmoil, Xin Xin finally landed her first big project, a financing project with an entertainment company.