Financial Workplace Survival Guide – CH 091

Chapter 91 ☆, Shouldn’t You Give Me An Explanation?

When you felt like you were falling in love with someone, was it because you loved the person themselves or because of the atmosphere of love?

Zhao Xi slowly ate the salad in front of him and commented, “You pay attention to an uncontrollable man because you’re curious about him. This attention creates a strong desire to explore what’s hidden in his ever-boiling life, but you two are not suitable.”

It was strange; Zhao Xi spoke without any emotion, as if he was evaluating a new financial instrument.

Xin Xin had hardly ever spoken to anyone about this relationship that had caused her so much distress from the beginning, but at this moment, her urge to confide in someone was stronger than ever.

She took a vicious bite of her food. “I know we’re not right for each other. If you can name a hundred reasons why we’re not right for each other, I can name a hundred and one. I’ve written countless essays in my head, and every time he made my heart flutter, I told myself that this man was unreliable. Even in the end, knowing that I liked him, I still struggled. But it was no use. He rushed in, forcefully barging into my life. What could I do?”

Zhao Xi paused, his hand holding the fork, his expression unreadable, yet seemingly tinged with mockery. “Love that breaks down the door must be a perfect match?”

Xin Xin smiled wryly. “I used to think that everything in life should be considered in terms of whether it’s appropriate. But now I understand that most of the time, life’s a mess. I’m not a machine. I seem to weigh the pros and cons of everything, but in the face of absolute desire, rationality’s too weak.”

When she said those words, Xin Xin felt unexpectedly relieved. For a long time, she had tried to remain rational and detach herself from her emotions, thinking that this would prevent her from getting hurt.

Or rather, it was a way of controlling risk; she invested her emotions within the limits she could bear.

Admitting that one could lose rationality and admitting that one could not always be sober was difficult for some people because it meant that they had already lost.

“Look, someone like you who can eat raw salad anytime will never understand what it means to lose your mind.”

Zhao Xi looked at Xin Xin, who was smiling as she spoke in the warm light, her eyes brimming with a hint of suspicious tears. She wasn’t crying, but her emotions were unmistakable.

This tender and fragile emotion stung Zhao Xi, like a small hole being opened in his heart.

“How do you know I haven’t lost my mind?” Zhao Xi paused for a moment, then suddenly said seriously, “I once told you that if we were together, I would pave the way for you and then resign from Hengyang. I’m not joking.”

Xin Xin’s heart pounded violently. Zhao Xi’s gaze was direct and sharp, leaving her no room to escape. She wanted to say something, but Zhao Xi interrupted her, “Perhaps you don’t know, but I’ve lost my mind many times, including today.”

The ambiguous words lingered in mid-air. Zhao Xi frowned slightly, seemingly conflicted and struggling, but spoke quickly, “Indeed, I hope you’re well and always happy. But at the same time, I hope you’re not well; I even feel that your being not well is inevitable. It sounds despicable, right? But that’s my thought, my rational yet irrational thought.”

Xin Xin suddenly lost her appetite, unsure whether to swallow the food in her mouth. After calming herself down, she cautiously said, “Zhao Xi, I really only see you as my boss.”

When she first started working, Xin Xin may have admired Zhao Xi and almost blindly followed his advice.

But now, after everything that had happened, she still knew perfectly well that there would be no feelings between her and Zhao Xi that went beyond those of colleagues. This was different from her feelings for Zheng Zaochuan; Zhao Xi was a man she thought was nice, nothing more.

Thinking of Zheng Zaochuan, Xin Xin felt sad again.

Zheng Zaochuan was different. Xin Xin had already realized this when the incident happened at Mary’s wedding. She was hopelessly in love with Zheng Zaochuan and hopelessly attracted to him.

When she was with Zhao Xi, Xin Xin’s first reaction to any harm to her interests was to feel betrayed, which made her angry and led her to decide to sever ties with Zhao Xi.

Even though the unknown fear lingered in Xin Xin’s heart, making her vaguely feel that Zheng Zaochuan might have a dark side that she did not know about, all she felt was heartache for him.

She felt sorry for the hardships he had endured that no one knew about and also for the indescribable sadness hidden beneath his seemingly carefree attitude.

If one person found another lovable, that was love. And once you started to feel sorry for someone, it meant you could not help but want to bear their fate.

Xin Xin knew that saying these words would hurt Zhao Xi, who seemed to care about her at least for now. But she still stammered, expressing her different feelings towards Zheng Zaochuan and Zhao Xi. Zhao Xi was not angry, turning the awkwardness between them into a lighthearted joke: “I know, I did not mean to advise you to break up. I just wanted to be in a queue so that if you two aren’t doing well, I’d have priority.”

Xin Xin paused for a moment, then struggled to say, “Zhao Xi, let’s just be good colleagues. I appreciate you, but I don’t want it to be like this. I can’t stand seeing such a proud man like you looking so humble.”

Seeing her anxious expression, Zhao Xi felt both helpless and amused. “Before you told me, I didn’t think I was this pathetic. You don’t need to feel indebted to me or burdened. The reason I’m here is because I haven’t met someone I like more. Maybe I will meet my true love when I go out today. Don’t take a man’s affection too seriously, including mine.”

Xin Xin remembered Mary’s words.

Her biggest problem was that she took herself too seriously; she thought she had the ability to hurt others.

That day, Zhao Xi drove Xin Xin home. On the way, they talked about work, and the romantic atmosphere vanished. Zhao Xi’s emotions were like a long mountain range; perhaps when you were close, you could feel the turbulent waves and continuous rises and falls within it. But from a distance, however, it was a magnificent picture of calm and stillness.

Xin Xin quickly put her unease out of her mind.

However, upon returning to her empty home, her mood quickly plummeted. A whole week passed without any word from Zheng Zaochuan. Seven days—a very subtle number of days, like a cycle.

Mary had already gone on her honeymoon, but she was still worried about Xin Xin. This incident stemmed from her attending her own wedding, so she felt uneasy and often called Xin Xin to ask how she was doing.

Xin Xin was not a petty person, nor did she resent her friends’ happiness. But for some reason, she concealed their current situation and avoided discussing it.

After hanging up on Mary, Xin Xin sent Zheng Zaochuan a message in retaliation.

“If you want to break up, I agree, but shouldn’t you give me an explanation?”

She was pressuring Zheng Zaochuan to confront the problem, but the message went unanswered. Just as Xin Xin was seriously considering whether to try to contact Su Meiling, she received an unexpected phone call.

“Can you please stop bothering Zheng Zaochuan? How much money do you want? I will transfer it to you.”

It was Monday morning. Xin Xin had just finished the morning meeting and had not even settled into her seat in the office when she received a call from an unknown number that immediately launched into an accusation.

Xin Xin was only stunned for a moment, but her intuition already told her who this person was.

“Whether I’m the one clinging to him or he’s the one clinging to me, it’s still uncertain.” Xin Xin clearly guessed that the voice belonged to Xibei but pretended not to know. “Who are you?”

A cold laugh came from the other end. “Stop pretending. You know who I am.”

Xin Xin pretended to be clueless. “I don’t know.”

“I’m Zheng Zaochuan’s sister. Do you know how much trouble you’ve caused him by clinging to him? A person like Zheng Zaochuan will never be happy. I advise you to stay away from him as soon as possible. He will never marry you.”

Xin Xin was disgusted by Xibei’s constant assertion of sovereignty, and at this moment she couldn’t help but speak harshly: “That’s a problem I need to consider. What you need to consider is whether your untimely possessiveness is necessary.”

Xin Xin had once speculated about their relationship, but Zheng Zaochuan denied all her guesses.

However, as Xibei’s boundless hostility emerged without any attempt to conceal it, Xin Xin still felt that they might had some unknown feelings for each other.

Unexpectedly, Xibei’s disgusted voice came through the receiver.

“Me? Possessiveness? Ha, he’s just my dog; what possessiveness could I have? It’s just that if he acts up, my crazy woman will cause trouble. I’m an artist; I don’t want to be affected.”

Her words were filled with contempt and undisguised disgust for Zheng Zaochuan. At that moment, Xin Xin was completely convinced that there was absolutely no affection between them, neither love nor familial love.

“Where’s Zheng Zaochuan?” Xin Xin asked, enunciating each word clearly.

Xibei sneered, “Do not worry; as long as you don’t bother him, he will definitely still be alive. But if you insist on bothering him, it’s hard to say whether he will still be alive.”

“Where’s he?” Xin Xin said sternly. “If you don’t tell me, I will call the police immediately and expose your relationship to the media.”

Xibei was startled by Xin Xin’s sudden questioning, and her voice lowered a few decibels. “Don’t think you can threaten me with this. I can sue you.”

“Where is he?” Xin Xin lost her patience.

Xibei hung up the phone without saying a word.

Xin Xin could hear the thunderous pounding of her own heart. She thought Zheng Zaochuan was hiding away when faced with problems, just like before. She also thought that Zheng Zaochuan would soon recover and come back.

But now, she suddenly felt that perhaps Zheng Zaochuan was held back by something else.

At that moment, she opened her phone and saw the last sentence: “If you want to break up, I agree.”

The message was sent too long ago; there was no way to take it back.

But Xin Xin added at the end, “I take back what I said. I will wait for you to come home.”

Zheng Zaochuan did not reply, but at the moment the message was sent, Xin Xin received a message from an unknown number.

No. 78 Binhai Road.