Hidden Shadow – CH 068

Chapter Sixty-Eight: To Try or Not to Try?

Neither the urge to kill nor the desire for a peaceful life was enough to sustain An Jiu’s will to live.

An Jiu had always thought her emotional instability stemmed from mental health issues, but only now did she understand that humans were social animals. Besides their inherent fear of death and attachment to life, they needed emotions as a pillar. Without any emotional connection, nothing could fill that void.

Before, she was a weapon devoid of emotion. Now, her deeply buried instincts were gradually awakening. The more she experienced emotion, the emptier she felt.

This was something she could not steal. She did not know how to develop feelings for others, nor how to make others develop feelings for her.

Whether in her past or present life, she had always walked alone, unchanged.

Rather than saying she had lost the ability to interact with people, it was more accurate to say she had closed her heart, unwilling and afraid to approach anyone.

A gust of wind blew, and the snow in front of Qiming Hall pattered softly onto the ground, startling the sparrows perched on the branches.

An Jiu raised her hand, and the door opened at that moment.

Mo Sigui’s peach blossom eyes were full of surprise, but upon seeing her unapproachable expression, he immediately became interested. “Oh, Fourteenth, you are back! I heard you returned early. How are you? Are you injured? Cousin has some good medicine here; it will prevent scarring.”

“Is Elder Qi here?” An Jiu automatically ignored his rambling.

“It’s cold outside, let’s come in and talk.” Mo Sigui stepped aside and led An Jiu into the pharmacy.

The room was filled with the rich aroma of herbs. The medicine pot on the stove was bubbling away, its lid pushed open, spilling medicine everywhere.

“You little rascal! Who knows where you’ve run off to be lazy again!” Mo Sigui quickly found a clean rag, wrapped the medicine pot, and carried it down.

“Please, sit wherever you like!” Mo Sigui casually wiped the spilled medicine on the floor with a rag, saying to himself, “This is Ah Yuan’s medicine. I heard she was frightened and cried nonstop after waking up! My poor second cousin, gone at such a young age. The head of the family and his wife are burying their son, alas!”

“Are you sad?” An Jiu asked.

Mo Sigui was used to rambling on to himself and had not expected a response. Hearing An Jiu speak, he paused, slightly taken aback.

“Among my peers in the Mei family, I only got along well with my eldest and second cousins,” Mo Sigui sighed. “Although I did not particularly like his always-serious lectures, I still cannot believe he’s suddenly gone. I always feel like he will come to me in a couple of days to get medicine for the two elders. As for sadness… perhaps it’s because physicians are used to life and death, and are more ruthless; surprisingly, I am not that heartbroken.”

Mo Sigui was a chatterbox, especially when it came to things that interested him, always asking endless questions. Now that he’d finally caught An Jiu calm, he naturally would not let it go. “Where’s my adorable little cousin?”

“Fourteenth Young Lady?” An Jiu asked.

Mo Sigui rolled his eyes. “Yeah! You do not think I’m talking about you, do you?”

“Do you want to see her?” An Jiu was not annoyed. “Elder Qi said that with two souls united, the stronger the spiritual power, the easier it is to damage. Can you suppress spiritual power?”

Mo Sigui opened his mouth, then hesitated for a long time before speaking. “What…what are you going to do?”

“Answer me.” An Jiu stared at him.

Mo Sigui coughed lightly and said, “I understand. But I’ve never tried it before. After all, someone like you is extremely rare in the world. I should be grateful to have encountered even one.”

“I will give you a chance to try. Kill me,” An Jiu said.

Seeing her calm expression, Mo Sigui became even more curious. “You do not seem like a coward. What’s bothering you that you want to die?”

An Jiu said, “Did you not want to see your adorable little cousin? Just achieve your goal; why ask so many questions?”

“I am not that stupid. Whether this succeeds or not, Elder Zhi will be the first to punish me if he finds out!” Mo Sigui looked at the medicine pot. “The fire is too high; it will ruin the medicine’s effectiveness.”

As he spoke, he did not pour out the medicine, but instead put it back on the stove to continue boiling.

“For something like this, medicine alone will not do,” Mo Sigui explained to himself. “A little bit of medicine is enough; do you expect me to suffer through a heartbreak with an herbal decoction? There’s no such miraculous medicine in the world!”

An Jiu stared at his face, flushed red in the firelight, and suddenly wanted to talk to him. “What’s it like living under someone else’s roof?”

Mo Sigui looked up, grinning. “You really do not know how to talk. Who comes up here and immediately hits the nail on the head?”

“Otherwise?” An Jiu asked, not ashamed to ask.

“Nothing much. If it were someone else, would they have such a good temper? Only me.” Mo Sigui scratched his head and pouted. “You think I latched onto the Mei family? I am doing just fine in Bianjing; I am all set for myself. It was the Mei family who insisted on bringing me here.”

He lived alone, with no one to care for him or ask about him. Although he was quite free, he was also very lonely. Mei Zhengjing picked up Mo Sigui, and the two hit it off immediately, so Mo Sigui willingly came to Mei Mansion.

“It’s all that frivolous uncle’s fault! He tricked me into coming here and then dumped me with Elder Qi.” Mo Sigui leaned closer to An Jiu, lowering his voice. “Speaking of which, I should thank you. If it were not for your stunt, I might be in the same situation as my older cousin right now.”

“But I have to clarify,” Mo Sigui quickly added. “I am not young at all.”

“Do you have to let the whole world know you are not young? Or are you having feelings for your cousin?” An Jiu said disdainfully, “You beast.”

“What’s wrong with liking a young woman?” Mo Sigui took out the fan with the “Red Apricot Over the Wall” design and added some air to the fire. “So clueless about romance,” Mo Sigui suddenly remembered. “You did not come here to see me from the beginning, did you?”

“Have you always been so oblivious?” An Jiu said. “I only remembered you existed when I saw you open the door. I figured it would be easier to find you than Elder Qi.”

Mo Sigui flung the fan away, angrily saying, “Is this how you ask for a favor?”

“Are you forgetful? You already said you do not want to do it. What else do you want me to ask for?” An Jiu said.

Mo Sigui closed the fan and tapped his forehead. “Even someone as calm as me has been angered by you. That shows how unlikable you are.”

Seeing An Jiu got up to leave, he immediately rushed to the door to block him, his face turning into a grin. “You are so impatient. We were just joking. Look at you, turning around and leaving.”

An Jiu was not emotional; she just felt that since he was not willing to do it, there was no point in staying any longer.

“I agree to give it a try,” Mo Sigui said with a resolute expression.

But An Jiu was certain this man had been eager to try from the start; he was just putting on airs. “You do not need to impress me. If you succeed, I will disappear. No one will owe you a favor. If you fail, I certainly will not.”

“You are really no fun at all,” Mo Sigui said, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, glancing out onto the veranda. “You have a bodyguard with you. How can we talk if I do not deal with him?”

This explanation was more acceptable.

An Jiu sat down again and explained the situation: “Mei Jiu is currently missing. I can sense she’s still there, but she’s not responding.”