Mo Sang – CH 147

Chapter 147. Let’s Fight! Let’s Fight!

At noon, behind Shunfeng’s shop, next to the vegetable garden, a fire blazed, a pot hanging above it, simmering pork tripe and chicken soup. Around it, racks were set up, and Li Sangrou and Hei Ma, along with a few others, sat around roasting lamb belly, lamb chops, bluefish, and whole steamed buns.

Nearby, Datou was mincing garlic, and Da Chang was mixing chrysanthemum greens and other vegetables from the garden in a large basin.

“Something terrible has happened!” Pan Dingbang rushed in, the wind he brought making the flames flicker.

“Can you two be a little more composed?” Li Sangrou glared at Pan Dingbang, annoyed.

“Something terrible has happened! A fight’s about to break out! Something horrible has occurred!” Pan Dingbang rushed to Li Sangrou’s side, exasperated.

“Who’s going to fight? Has it started? Has anyone been killed?” Li Sangrou flipped the lamb belly over and sprinkled more seasoning on it.

“You did not know? Did you not read the Gossip Evening Post?” Pan Dingbang sniffed; the roasted mutton smelled delicious.

“I am so busy every day; I do not have time to read the Gossip Evening Post. Who’s fighting with whom?” Li Sangrou flipped the mutton belly, then flipped the bluefish.

“Eleventh Master got into a fight?” Hei Ma craned his neck to ask.

“Eleventh Master never fights. Who could he beat? It was my Third Sister-in-law and my Second Sister-in-law.” Pan Dingbang circled around a couple of times, could not find a chair, so he simply squatted down next to Li Sangrou.

“Hmm?” Li Sangrou’s hand, flipping the bluefish, paused. “Your Third Sister-in-law? Your Second Sister-in-law? A civil fight and a physical fight?”

“What civil fight and a physical fight? Thank you, thank you.” Pan Dingbang took the chair that Mazha handed him and plopped down.

“You! Why not read the Gossip Evening Post? Even if you do not read it, how can you be completely unaware of something this big? What have you been doing?

You started this whole thing! Look at yourself!” Pan Dingbang launched into a tirade of complaints.

“Martial arts fighting is just tearing hair, pulling ears, biting, and kicking. Civil fighting has many more variations. Civil fighting versus martial arts fighting?” Li Sangrou ignored Pan Dingbang’s long string of complaints and only answered the first sentence.

“That’s civil fighting! It was all caused by you under that grape trellis! How could you not know? Thank you!” Pan Dingbang took the tea that Chuantiao handed him.

“I could not understand your Third Sister-in-law’s article, and I could not understand your Second Sister-in-law’s article even more. Was it because of those articles that it started?

When did they agree to fight? How will they fight? Do they want me to fight? I am really no good at fighting; if I get involved, I will kill someone,” Li Sangrou said as she placed the roasted lamb belly on the cutting board and cut it into large chunks.

“You cannot even understand it. What use are you going to be fighting? You want someone to die? You cannot even understand it, so you cannot kill anyone! Sigh!” Pan Dingbang sighed deeply.

“It’s those people from the Hanlin Academy. They’ve been arguing with my Third and Second Sisters-in-law for days, back and forth in the Gossip Evening Post. It’s been going on for days, and you did not even know?”

Pan Dingbang looked incredulous. Such a big thing, and his Second and Third Sisters-in-law did not let her know!

“Have you eaten? Want some roast meat? Of all things, eating is the most important. We have to eat first,” Li Sangrou asked while continuing to cut lamb chops.

“I do not care about eating. They are all crowding around talking; no one’s paying attention to me.

Give me that piece and this piece too. This piece is fine too, fish, and more fish. Give me the tail!” Pan Dingbang stood up, moved closer to Li Sangrou, pointing and asking for this and that.

“These two pieces plus a fish tail will do, and there’s also pork tripe and chicken soup. Have a bowl of soup later.” Li Sangrou filled a plate, added a golden-brown roasted bun, and handed it to Pan Dingbang.

“This lamb belly is roasted so well! It smells amazing! Mmm, delicious!” Pan Dingbang took a bite and immediately forgot about the fight. “What’s that dish, Da Chang? Give me some! This garlic flavor is great; more! More!”

Pan Dingbang ate the roasted lamb, roasted bluefish, mixed vegetables, and a bun and drank a bowl of pork tripe and chicken soup, completely satisfied.

“Your Second and Third Sisters-in-law are they with the Hanlin Academy? How are they planning to fight?” Li Sangrou handed Pan Dingbang a cup of tea.

“Yes, yes! This is the important matter! You! Such a big thing, and you did not even know!

Let’s begin. It seems my Second Sister-in-law, that’s right, my Second Sister-in-law, wrote an article, something about phonetics. I hate phonetics, so I did not read it.

The next day, I received several small notes, signed and stamped. My Second Sister-in-law said she wanted to make sure everyone saw the signature in bold ink.

It was from Hanlin Academician Qiao of the Hanlin Academy. You definitely know Hanlin Academician Qiao; he’s known for his erudition and incredible memory, nicknamed ‘the encyclopedia of books.’

The first time, there were two or three notes, all written by Hanlin Academician Qiao, pointing out various errors in my Second Sister-in-law’s article, pointing out which books she used incorrectly and which allusions she misused.

How could my Second Sister-in-law make mistakes? She taught me; I know perfectly well. My Second Sister-in-law never makes a mistake! And my Second Sister-in-law has a very strong temper; she rejected them the very next day.” Hanlin Academician Qiao and my Second Brother were both Jinshi in the same year; he was the Bangyan¹, and my brother was a fellow Jinshi.

When they met at literary gatherings, Hanlin Academician Qiao loved to challenge my brother. Every time my brother spoke, he would nitpick, saying he was wrong, used the wrong phrase, and made all sorts of mistakes. My brother was incredibly annoyed by him.

Sometimes, even when he was clearly wrong, he would rely on his good memory and extensive reading to argue that my brother was still wrong.

My sister-in-law was already annoyed by him, and when she refuted him, she was not very polite. I read that article; my sister-in-law was truly ruthless.

As a result, the next day, Hanlin Academician Qiao sent dozens of notes—a whole pile! My sister-in-law was not going to let him get away with that, so she challenged him to a duel.

After several rounds, Hanlin Academician Qiao was consistently losing, and he got angry. He claimed that he was losing because his side had a word limit, while my sister-in-law’s side did not. He argued that this was why he was losing, so he handed her a note challenging her to a duel.

Pan Dingbang glanced at Li Sangrou and sighed.

“My Second Sister-in-law agreed!”

“This is what you call a fight? This?” Li Sangrou looked at Pan Dingbang in disbelief.

“Seventh Young Master, what you are saying cannot be called a fight! It’s not even an argument!” Hei Ma looked at Pan Dingbang with disdain.

“How can this not be called a fight? How else would it be considered a fight? Does it really have to involve knives?” Pan Dingbang glared from Li Sangrou to Hei Ma.

“Eh!” From Hei Ma to Chuantiao, a group of people sneered at Pan Dingbang.

“You scholars,” Li Sangrou remarked, “how would this fight be? Like the Imperial Academy?

If that were the case, if those Hanlin scholars started fighting, Hei Ma alone could take on a whole bunch of them.”

“Do not worry! I guarantee I will beat them to a pulp!” Hei Ma rolled up his sleeves.

“No! Look at you all, so uncouth!” Pan Dingbang pointed around. “When I arrived, my Second Sister-in-law was discussing it with my Third Sister-in-law, my mother was there, and Ah Tian was there too. Sigh, everyone was crammed together, and no one even bothered to arrange a meal for me.

I still do not know how to fight.

But these are my Second and Third Sisters-in-law, so they definitely cannot lay a hand on me. I was thinking, maybe like a debate on scriptures. Have you ever seen a debate on scriptures?”

Pan Dingbang asked, looking at Li Sangrou.

Li Sangrou nodded.

She had seen it; they debated while jumping around, and someone was playing a small drum.

“Something like that, you know about this…”

“Your Second Brother… your Second Brother is not in Jianle City. Does your Third Brother know? Where’s your father? What did they say? As for Hanlin Academician Qiao, the ones who know about this are your Second and Third Sisters-in-law, are they not women, not men?” Li Sangrou interrupted Pan Dingbang.

“My Second Brother has not been home for over half a month; my Third Brother is so busy he’s practically invisible, and Father is even busier. I wonder if they know.

Hanlin Academician Qiao… Does he know? I really do not know.” Pan Dingbang shook his head.

“He probably does not know; he better not know!” Li Sangrou pinched her chin, her eyes darting around, and then, after a moment, she slapped Pan Dingbang on the shoulder. “This is good news!”

“Huh?” Pan Dingbang was stunned by Li Sangrou’s slap.

What good news?

“Your Second and Third Sisters-in-law have already agreed, right? Did I hear you clearly?” Li Sangrou pointed at Pan Dingbang’s shoulder.

“Of course! My Second Sister-in-law has that temper, my Third Sister-in-law…” Pan Dingbang nodded.

“That’s good! Go back and tell your Second and Third Sisters-in-law to prepare properly. They do not need to worry about anything else; I’ve got it covered. By the way, how did they arrange the fight? When?” Li Sangrou asked, pointing at Pan Dingbang.

“You do not even know how to fight. How are you even here? You…” Pan Dingbang vaguely felt that this matter was about to become a big problem!

“Do not worry about how it’s fought. They are just scholars; it’s all just a war of words anyway.

Alright, go back and tell your second and Third Sisters-in-law to prepare well. I will handle the rest! Go now!” Li Sangrou grabbed Pan Dingbang and pushed him out, while ordering Hei Ma and the others:

“Hei Ma, hurry to the news agency and find Master Cao. Have him write a challenge letter and send it to the Hanlin Academy. Do not write names, just the entire Hanlin Academy. Have Manager Lin take it, and you and Manager Lin deliver it to the people in charge at the Hanlin Academy!

Xiao Lu, go and call the owners of those few entertainment venues. Tell them I am going to be the dealer for a betting event!

Hurry! The sooner the better!”

Pan Dingbang, staggered by Li Sangrou’s push, cried out in alarm, “What are you doing? What are you doing? You, you, you!”

“Remember to bet a few rounds then, make some extra money on the side, and do not forget to call Eleventh; you are guaranteed to win!” Li Sangrou instructed, pushing Pan Dingbang into the courtyard. “Go tell your Second and Third Sisters-in-law quickly!”

……………………

Pan Dingbang returned to their front door, circled around, and then circled again, but ultimately did not dare to go in. He beckoned Ting-Xi over, instructing him to go in and deliver the message, then turned his horse around and headed straight for the Ministry of Works.

He was busy with official duties today.

Ting-Xi was led to the main courtyard of Old Lady Jiang, and reported with his hands at his sides: “Reporting to Old Madam, Second Madam, Third Madam, Seventh Madam: Seventh Master asked me to inform Second Madam and Third Madam that Seventh Master said the Boss said that Second Madam and Third Madam should prepare with peace of mind and that all other matters will be arranged by the Boss.”

From Old Lady Jiang onwards, everyone was stunned.

“Which Boss?” Seventh Master Tian’s wife blurted out.

“Reporting to Seventh’s Grandmother, it’s Li, the head of Shunfeng,” Ting-Xi answered, hands at his sides.

“What did the boss arrange? How did she know? How did your Seventh Master know? Where is Little Seventh?” Old Lady Jiang bombarded him with questions.

“Reporting to Old Madam, I do not know. I was drinking tea at the shop in front of Shunfeng, waiting for Seventh Master.

Later, Seventh Master came out and brought me back. When we got to our door, he said he was busy with official business today and instructed me to come back and tell him he went to the ministry.” Ting-Xi told the truth honestly.

He really did not know.

“The boss knows. It must have been Little Seventh who told him; otherwise, he would not be afraid to even go home.” The assessment of Third Madam, Lady Qian, was straightforward.

“What did Little Seventh tell the boss? What arrangements did he make? We need to ask him quickly, lest something serious happen.” Second Madam, Lady Zhong, frowned, deeply regretting that she should not have said those things in front of Little Seventh.

“Go and tell the boss that it’s nothing. Little Seven always talks big, so hurry up,” Old Lady Jiang instructed, looking at Lady Qian.

“I am going right now.” Lady Qian hurriedly stood up and went outside.

Lady Qian went out, got a carriage, and rushed to the Shunfeng Express Shop, but Li Sangrou was not there. The shopkeeper, Old Zuo, said he did not know where she was.

Lady Qian then went to the Evening Post Shop, but the boss was not there, nor was Shopkeeper Lin.

There was no one in Chaomi Alley either.

Lady Qian had no choice but to return to the Pan Mansion first.

……………………

Pan Dingbang arrived at the Ministry of Works, sat down, got up, sat down, paced around seventeen or eighteen times, gritted his teeth, stamped his foot, and went to find his Third Brother in the row of small houses outside Xuanyou Gate.

The boss was a person of his word. If she said she’d issue a challenge, she’d definitely do it; if she said she’d start a gambling den, she’d definitely start one. And once the gambling was underway, it was no small matter.

He did not dare see his Second and Third Sisters-in-law, or his mother, for the time being.

He wanted to go to his father, but his father was too busy. His Second Brother was not in Jianle City, so it was just his Third Brother.

Sigh, his Second Brother loved to hit people, and his Third Brother loved to hit people too—so annoying!

Pan Dingbang timidly entered Pan Dingjiang’s small room, forcing a smile before speaking, “Third Brother, this place is truly filled with the fragrance of books.”

“What trouble have you gotten into this time?” Pan Dingjiang knew his younger brother all too well and immediately frowned, asking.

“No…” Pan Dingbang stammered, his words muffled. “How could I dare? It’s really nothing, just a small matter.

Um, Third Sister-in-law, Second Sister-in-law, you know about the argument with that Hanlin Academician Qiao, right?” Pan Dingbang hesitated.

“Go on!” Pan Dingjiang put down his pen.

“You are so busy, you do not even come home for lunch. If you were home, everything would be fine!” Pan Dingbang first shifted the blame onto his Third Brother. “Well, they say the Gossip Evening Post sent over today had a challenge from Hanlin Academician Qiao in it.

Hanlin Academician Qiao thinks it’s unfair that he can only write twenty characters at a time. You probably know about this, so he said he wants to debate it face-to-face.

I went home for lunch, but my mother, Second and Third Sisters-in-law, and Ah Tian were all busy talking about the challenge and ignored me. I did not even get to eat.

I thought I could not keep this from the boss, so I went to her, well, and told her.

The boss said I should tell my second and Third Sisters-in-law to prepare well. She said she’s going to deliver the challenge to the Imperial Academy, and that they are even going to open a betting shop…”

Facing his Third Brother’s angry glare, Pan Dingbang quickly swallowed the rest of his words. He reached behind him, touched the doorframe, and hastily backed away, muttering, “The Ministry of Works has too much to do; I am leaving!”

Before he finished speaking, he turned and ran.

“You bastard!” Pan Dingjiang jumped up, chased him to the door, and threw his pen away.

……………………

Around the beginning of the afternoon, in every prominent place in Jianle City’s various entertainment districts, the challenge from the Evening News to the Hanlin Academy was posted, along with betting odds: if the Hanlin Academy accepted the challenge, the odds were 1 to 10; if they did not, the odds were 1 to 10.

Immediately afterward, the challenge and the betting odds from the various entertainment districts, still wet with ink, were delivered in stacks to delivery shops, restaurants, teahouses, markets, and even street corners, handed out to anyone they saw for free.

The Hanlin Academy was always loosely organized. Matters requiring collective attention were usually handled by Huang, the Chancellor of the Imperial Academy. Manager Lin, accompanied by Hei Ma, delivered the challenge to Huang.

Huang, upon receiving the challenge, immediately understood its meaning.

The Morning News was now essentially the same as the Imperial Memorials Bureau’s gazette. He had even written two articles for it at the request of Pan Tanhua.

He was not entirely clear on the Gossip Evening Post, but it was certainly not a simple tabloid. Everyone knew this from the day the grain price report was moved from the Gossip Evening Post to the Morning News.

He read both the Morning and Gossip Evening Posts every day without fail.

A while ago, he had witnessed the back-and-forth between Hanlin Academician Qiao and the Boss editors under the grapevine, watching with great interest; their debate was quite sophisticated.

Unexpectedly, it had escalated to the point of issuing a challenge. And this challenge, if it were to be issued, should have been addressed to Hanlin Academician Qiao, not him—the wrong place.

Huang Jijiu was flipping through the Gossip Evening Post detailing the debate, pondering whether it would be appropriate for the challenge to reach Hanlin Academician Qiao through his hands.

After all, the challenge was addressed to the Hanlin Academy, not Hanlin Academician Qiao’s name. It would not be right for him to forward it.

This challenge should be returned to the Evening News, explained, and a new one addressed to Hanlin Academician Qiao.

He should not have accepted it in the first place. However, he had not expected the large red envelope to contain a challenge. Having already accepted it, returning it now seemed inappropriate.

Even so, it was better than forwarding it to Hanlin Academician Qiao.

As Huang, the Imperial Scholar, was leisurely pondering, a servant rushed in. “Master! Master! Look at this!”

The servant presented him with a challenge letter and an explanation of the betting rules.

Huang, the Imperial Scholar, glanced at the challenge letter, then at the betting rules, his eyes widening. “This! Where did this come from?”

“It’s everywhere in the city! Lots of people are betting!” the servant said, blinking excitedly.

Such a lively event was rare even in Jianle City!

Moreover, it concerned his master! He was practically involved! It was truly exciting!