Spring Message in the Snow – CH 007

Chapter 7

Zhang Ju bid farewell to his colleagues and led the carriage back to Old Caomen Street. When he arrived home, everyone was still waiting. Lady Pan and Lady Ling went to greet him, intending to ask how things had gone, but seeing Shangrou carrying a child emerge from the carriage, everyone knew that the matter had been temporarily suppressed.

Everyone returned to Suihua Garden in silence. Xianchun helped the Grand Madam remove her cloak. Looking at the water clock, it was already midnight. The Grand Madam said, “Let’s talk about it tomorrow! Everyone’s exhausted from staying up this long; go back and rest…”

But before she could finish speaking, Shangrou handed the child to the wet nurse, lifted her skirt, and knelt before the Grand Madam, bursting into tears: “Grandmother…Grandmother…”

All the grievances in her heart poured out into her endless sobs.

Everyone’s nose stung with tears. They recalled how she had once been a lively and spirited girl, sitting with Surou under the eaves on rainy days, reciting lines like “A light rain, a gentle breeze, willows swaying in the mist.” Surou had admired her greatly then; at only ten years old, she had read so many books and knew so many characters. In the end, all it took to destroy a talented woman was a failed marriage.

The old lady helped her up, her voice trembling, “You are a young lady of the Zhang family. You must have backbone. Even if the sky falls, your father and I will hold it up. Just hold your head high and live your life, understand?”

Shangrou sobbed, clinging to the old lady’s hand, “Grandmother, I am so useless! I cannot even handle things in my own courtyard, making the elders come in the middle of the night to seek justice for me… How can I have the face to live!”

But the old lady said no, “The one who should have the face to live is your husband, not you. If you do not… With his favoritism towards his concubine and neglect of his wife, none of this would have happened today! Listen to me, take good care of yourself. You still have An’er to worry about; why bother with that Chen Ang! Now that you are back, just relax and do as you always have in your boudoir. Before I left, I had someone tidy up your courtyard. You should rest with An’er; the child did not sleep at night, I am afraid he will not be able to stay awake…” She looked at the child in the wet nurse’s arms, only to see An’er with his big, round eyes, curiously observing everyone. The Grand Madam immediately laughed. “Good boy, I was worried he’d cause trouble, but he’s much more energetic than we are, truly a young man.”

Everyone laughed at the Grand Madam’s words, and the heavy atmosphere in the room instantly dissipated.

Several maids stepped forward and helped Shangrou up. She turned to look at her son, seemingly having come to terms with things. The Grand Madam continued to comfort her, “Go back and rest. Come again tomorrow, and we can discuss your future properly.”

Shangrou agreed, bowed to the Grand Madam and the elders, and then took the child back to her own courtyard.

Everyone dispersed, and Zhirou and Surou left Suihua Garden. Their courtyards were not far apart, so they walked along the same route. Zhirou said, “Elder sister, being at the Chen family was always nerve-wracking. It’s much more reassuring now that you are back. Speaking of that Chen Ang, he’s so infuriating! If I were a man, I’d team up with the brothers and corner him in the alley and give him a good beating.”

Zhirou’s strong sense of justice and her unyielding nature made her quite likable. Surou laughed and said, “Indeed, seeing his shameless face at the Marquis’s Mansion, I really wanted to beat him up too.”

The two sisters parted ways on the path, chatting and laughing. Surou returned to Qiandui Xue Courtyard, and from afar, she saw Jiao Yue and Jie Lu waiting at the courtyard gate. The maids, finally seeing her return, hurried over and escorted her back to the courtyard.

The lanterns under the eaves swayed, illuminating the elegant wooden pavilion. Returning to her old home in the middle of the night, her thoughts drifted back to her childhood.

Quelan invited her inside and busied herself helping her change. Jiao Yue and Jie Lu prepared towels and combs to help her wash and groom, saying, “Young lady, you just returned today, and I did not expect to encounter such a big matter. You’ve been running around all day, and you still have not settled down.”

Surou calmly replied, “The noble ladies in the palace sleep late. After we’ve served them, we still need to fumigate their clothes and prepare tomorrow’s supplies. We would not be back at our quarters until midnight.”

There were always people above you, were there not? Born into an official’s family, she might not be served her whole life. Over the years in the palace, she had not learned much except for small pleasures and tedious rules, such as how to burn incense, how to hang paintings, how to fold clothes, how to make bedding… Common maids had never been trained in these things, and their work always had flaws that were worth criticizing. She watched for a while, then smiled and strolled away.

The evening breeze was gentle. Sitting on the couch by the window, she slowly painted the lotus flower in her palm. A delicate fragrance wafted on the breeze, and the maids, curious, gathered around, asking, “What is the young lady applying?”

The most exquisite incense recipes from the palace had already spread to the common people; it was these commonly used ones that lacked mystery and were never publicized.

Surou fanned her hand, creating a fragrant breeze. “Those in the palace cannot have any unclean smells; their bodies and skin must be carefully nourished. This is what we usually use to cleanse our hands. It’s made by grinding cloves, litharge, and alum together. Over time, the fragrance penetrates the skin, leaving the hands clean and soft.”

Hearing this, everyone carefully observed her hands. The young lady’s hands were truly like those depicted in paintings of court ladies: ten fingers, slender and white, the fingertips covered with a rosy, slightly glossy sheen. Compared to hands stained with nail polish, it possessed a different kind of simple, pure beauty, unpretentious and open, perfectly matching the image of a childhood sweetheart in the hearts of young men.

Jiao Yue smiled and said, “It’s getting late, young lady; please rest. When you have time tomorrow, copy down the prescription, and I will prepare the medicine according to the formula. Once it’s ground, everyone can try it.”

Surou agreed and moved into the inner room to sleep. As the curtains were drawn, she nestled against the pillow scented with calming incense and sighed. Since Zheng Xiuyuan’s act of kindness in releasing her, only now did she feel inner peace. She was entangled in worldly affairs and troubled by interpersonal relationships, but it was precisely this everyday life that made her feel she had broken free from that cage and was truly alive.

However, habits formed over a decade were hard to break. As soon as it was dawn, she sat up abruptly, her mind racing, calculating what to prepare and how many outfits Consort Xiuyuan would need today.

She hurriedly got out of bed, calling out to her maidservant. Only after regaining her composure did she realize that the surrounding furnishings were different from her quarters.

Quelan responded and came in to check. Seeing the young lady standing there, still somewhat dazed, she laughed. “What’s wrong, young lady? Are you dreaming?”

Surou then remembered that she had been released and chuckled, “I was confused. I thought I was still in the palace.”

Looking at the daylight outside, she knew it was time to get up. Although she would not have had a mistress to serve her at home, she would have had elders to greet. The old custom remained in the residence: juniors had to go to Suihua Garden in the morning to have breakfast with the Grand Madam. Therefore, the small kitchen did not need to be used. After washing and dressing, Surou took Jiao Yue to the main room.

Grand Madam Zhang rose early, a habit she’d carried for years since sending her grandfather to court, a habit she neither wanted nor could break. When Surou entered, she had already finished her morning prayers and was sitting in her armchair drinking honey tea. Seeing her granddaughter, she quickly told Cichun to brew a cup for her as well.

“Honey tea on an empty stomach is good for the lungs and relieves dryness. Last year, I caught a cold and coughed incessantly; this method was taught to me by Commander Song in the palace,” she said, setting down her Jianzhan teacup and smiling as she asked, “You only got back late last night; why did you not sleep a little longer?”

Surou replied, “Serving in the Forbidden City, I am used to getting up at this hour. If I were granted the privilege of sleeping longer, I would not be able to fall asleep.”

Grand Madam Zhang felt a pang of sadness and reached out to stroke her cheek, saying, “My Su’er, you’ve suffered. Not a day has passed since your grandmother stopped thinking of you. That year after the Empress Dowager’s passing, I considered bringing you back, but… I could not. We could not afford to offend the imperial family, so I had to abandon that idea. Fortunately, during my lifetime, I was able to see you leave the palace; it must be your father watching over you from heaven. You lost your mother at a young age and your father at six. My child, you’ve suffered so much in this life; the rest of your days will surely be filled with happiness.”

Grandmother and granddaughter sat knee-to-knee, sharing intimate words. Surou still smiled serenely, the past hardships leaving no trace on her.

Grandmother felt sorry for her, but Surou comforted her, saying, “I think this experience is quite good. Grandmother, think that those palace attendants who leave the palace are mostly elderly maids, old and retired—what fun is there in their lives? I am young now, and I can use my knowledge of palace history to teach the noble ladies of the capital etiquette, manners, incense making, and flower arranging, just like those female tutors.”

The Grand Madam was surprised. “You want to open a girls’ school?”

Surou smiled and said, “I would not dare call it opening a girls’ school; it’s just about exchanging skills.”

The Grand Madam was much more open-minded than most elders. She never believed that girls should only be wives and mothers, devoting their lives to men and children. Having some ambition and lofty ideals, regardless of whether they could be realized, showed more clarity and courage than ordinary people.

“That’s a good idea; you should definitely try it,” the Grand Madam agreed, then added, “But you are young, unlike the more experienced nannies who are more convincing. It would be better for you to maintain your dignity and let those discerning ladies come knocking on your door to invite you out. There are many noble ladies in the capital, and many of them are unreliable. Better to strike once than break three thousand drums. You are a young lady of the Zhang family; even ordinary nobles will have to be selective.”

This was somewhat self-aggrandizing, but the grandmother and granddaughter were having a good time, their laughter echoing into the courtyard.

The crowd arrived one after another. Lady Yuan led everyone forward to pay their respects, Shangrou among them. Ultimately, she seemed preoccupied, and her thin, haggard appearance made Surou feel a sense of unfamiliarity.

Grand Madam Zhang, feeling pity for her, gestured for her to sit down and asked, “Where’s An’er? Is he still asleep?”

Shangrou replied, “His wet nurse fed him at dawn, and he has not woken up yet.”

Grand Madam Zhang nodded. “Children need to sleep more; it helps them develop their brains and prepare for their studies.”

Just then, Nanny Feng led the maids in, smiling, “The Grand Madam said she wanted to drink Seven Treasures Ginger Porridge, so I specially ordered the kitchen to make it this morning. Please, everyone, have a taste.”

One by one, lotus leaf cups were served to the ladies and young women, accompanied by various exquisite little pastries. Grand Madam Zhang believed that a good breakfast was essential for energy throughout the day.

After the meal, fragrant drinks were served, and Grand Madam Zhang said to Shangrou, “Later, please have the physician come in and prescribe some tonics. Once you’ve recovered, you will have a long road ahead. Today, in front of your mother and sisters, your grandmother wants to ask you one question: what are your plans now? Do you still want to return to the Marquis’s Mansion?”

Shangrou hesitated for a moment. A married woman was no longer as carefree as she was when she was still a young lady. A life altered could not erase the marks of the past. She hesitated, “Gossip is a fearsome thing; I cannot stay in my parents’ home forever…”

“You do not need to worry about that. There’s nothing new under the sun. Today you talk about me, tomorrow I will talk about you. You do the first day, I will do the fifteenth,” Grand Madam Zhang said seriously. “I just want to hear your honest opinion: do you still want this man?”

Shangrou raised her eyes, a strange light igniting in her lifeless eyes. She looked at Grand Madam Zhang, then at everyone present. The word she had thought about countless times but never dared to utter suddenly leaped into her mind, burning hot and making her heart boil.

Her younger sisters watched her nervously, the young women all sympathizing with her plight. Encouraged, she almost blurted out those two words. But then she looked at her elders: her mother’s eyes darted away, Lady Ling kept her eyes downcast, and Lady Pan remained indifferent… They all had children; unlike the passionate young people, they had to consider the bigger picture.

Suddenly, her breath caught in her throat. She was the eldest sister, raised to plan for the family’s honor and the future of her sisters.

“An’er is ultimately a descendant of the Chen family. I cannot let my son become someone else’s stepson. Chengchuan is muddle-headed, but my in-laws treat me very well. There’s no such thing as a perfect marriage. Everyone turns a blind eye to these things.” Shangrou smiled sadly. “Grandmother, I am worrying too much, and I am not willing to accept this… Can you understand me, Grandmother?”

The sisters looked disappointed, but the Grand Madam understood her predicament. After a long pause, she sighed and said, “You are grown up now. How you walk your own path is entirely up to you. The Zhang family is your maternal family. They can stay as long as they want and come back whenever they want.”

Unfortunately, some things, as a grandmother, could not be said too bluntly. After the initial anger subsided, how many people would be willing to pay any price? It could only be blamed on the cruel nature of the world, where women could never truly live as they pleased.