Spring Message in the Snow – CH 048

Chapter 48

Surou did not know how to answer. Her interactions with this man were becoming increasingly unsettling. She could not see through him and even began to suspect that she had unintentionally given him the wrong hints, making him believe that the marriage was a done deal.

Indeed, her grandmother had told her before that if all else failed, marrying him would be her only option, but his certainty came too early, leaving her unsure what to do. Now, he was so generously offering himself to her, and she suddenly felt a pang of fear. Was she truly destined to be bound to this man for life?

Looking closely at him, the young heir apparent did not resemble a military general. His face lacked the weariness of a warrior; instead, he looked more like a refined young scholar reading in a high tower, seemingly oblivious to the hardships of life. But appearances could be deceiving. He had left home at a young age, faced life-or-death situations, and experienced things most people could never endure in their entire lives. His journey to this point in the capital must have been fraught with difficulties.

While her mind raced with conflicting thoughts, he held only one unwavering resolve, steadfastly pursuing his goal. His eyes held a thousand unspoken words; the lamplight flickered, reflecting in his pupils. He lowered his head and asked, “You still refuse?”

Surou was speechless. To say no now would be hypocritical. She had no way out; why feign such nobility? Saying no while simultaneously struggling to appease the Emperor—the final outcome might still be the same. What was the point of this current struggle?

“Does Your Highness truly intend to marry me and spend your life with me?” She looked up at him. “Back then, you and my uncle agreed to propose marriage because of the kindness my father showed you when he saved you years ago. I know you are sincere, but Your Highness should not confuse this feeling and ruin your marriage.”

He listened attentively, then smiled ambiguously. “Young Lady, you only see the surface. Have you considered that perhaps our connection is deeper than you imagine? Besides, there are many ways to repay a debt of gratitude; it does not have to involve throwing yourself into it. Now that I am in, I have no intention of leaving.”

Surou was surprised. “You never intended to break off the engagement from the beginning?”

He hesitated, realizing he had almost given himself away, and quickly said, “Young Lady, you do not understand the Emperor. What the Emperor decides to do, he does not give up so easily. You said he visited you in the garden a couple of days ago; even if I do not say it, you should understand the deeper meaning. The only way now is to remain calm and wait for things to change. As long as things do not go wrong on our side, the Emperor cannot do anything about it.” He shifted his body slightly, his eyes suddenly softening. “I will not repeat what I said before. Just remember one thing: I’ve never treated marriage lightly. Having betrothed you, I will only have you for life. So, what about you? Can you give me a definite answer today?”

His expression was earnest, as if he would be heartbroken if she refused again.

Surou fell silent. She had thought it over carefully. These past two days, holding hands and accepting his ancestral jade—to make excuses now would be incredibly pretentious. Staking her courage and making up her mind, she calmly said, “To be honest, I’ve been completely at a loss lately because of the Emperor’s visit, and I do not know how to deal with it. The Heir Apparent is right; the only solution is to remain calm and wait for the right moment. You want a definite answer, but I cannot give you one right now. I need to go back and ask my stepmother’s opinion. After all, this marriage is not just about us; we also need to consider my stepmother’s feelings. Furthermore, I need to consult the oracle at my father’s grave. If he’s also willing to grant my request, then I will agree to the marriage in early September. I will marry you, and from that day forward, we will be one heart and one mind, never betraying each other.”

Perhaps because this happiness came so suddenly, he was momentarily stunned. When he came to his senses, he regretted that the carriage was too small for him to move freely and could only anxiously and helplessly stroke his knees, asking, “Is it true? Is what you say from the heart, my lady?”

“One heart and one mind, never betraying each other”—these nine short words almost made him cheer. Indeed, his efforts had not been in vain; she had softened her stance.

Surou nodded. “My agreement does not count yet, Your Highness. Do not be too happy yet. We will have to ask Father and Stepmother before we know the result.”

Indeed, the living knew how to assess the situation, but divination relies entirely on fate. If something went wrong, this marriage might have to be called off again. But there was no other way. She should ask her father’s opinion after a moment’s thought. He said, “How about this, Young Lady: go back and try your best to persuade Lady Pan. When it’s time to go to Father-in-law’s grave for divination, I will accompany you.”

She just wanted to know the result as soon as possible. This was good; if it did not work out, it would save her a lot of trouble. Surou nodded. “I will send someone to inform Your Highness then.”

As they spoke, the carriage arrived at Old Caomen Street. Servants and maids were already waiting in front of the Zhang Mansion. He got out first, then turned back to support her. He took out a food box from the carriage and handed it to a maid, smiling at Surou, “There are some sweet rice balls inside. Take them home and eat them, Young Lady.”

Surou thanked him and turned to go inside. He called her again, blushing, “I will wait for your news.”

Surou nodded. “Your Highness, please go back.” With that, she and Quelan stepped over the threshold.

Back at Qiandui Xue Courtyard, feeling sticky and uncomfortable after being outside all day, she sent someone to let her grandmother know she had arrived home and that she did not need to worry. She first took a bath, changed into her nightgown, and returned to her room. On the table sat a Ru ware sunflower-shaped cup. She glanced at it; small, translucent round dumplings floated in it, each one plump and pleasing to the eye.

Actually, she did not particularly like these dumplings, but that day, because they were placed closest to her, she had casually eaten two, and he had assumed she liked them. Since it was a kind gesture, she could not refuse, so she called over a few of her close maids, and they shared them.

The next day, she went to the garden as usual to teach the noble ladies. After finishing her lessons in the late afternoon, she returned early, consulted with the Grand Madam, and then went to Lady Pan’s courtyard.

Lady Pan had few refined hobbies, only making incense and copying scriptures. Her husband had died young, and her life had withered away prematurely; it seemed that her only joy in life was raising her two children. This day, she was reading on the veranda when Surou entered through the door. She stood up and said, “You are back early today. Have dinner here tonight!”

Each of the three households had its own small kitchen, and except for occasional gatherings, they usually kept to themselves. Surou had been back for a while, mostly with the Grand Madam, and rarely visited. Since her stepmother had invited her, she naturally accepted.

She asked Nanny Yang to tell the kitchen to add two more dishes tonight, and Lady Pan was happy to arrange it. After everything was arranged, she gestured and said, “Sit down. Did you come all this way to tell me something?”

Surou hesitated, sitting there with her head down, unsure where to begin.

Lady Pan sat to one side, sleeves tucked in. After the maid placed the fragrant drink down, she waved her away, took a sip from her porcelain cup, and tilted her head, saying, “You’ve even opened a girls’ school; you know how to teach students, but you do not know how to speak to me?”

Surou raised her head, embarrassed, and said, “I truly do not know how to explain this to Mother. On the day the Heir Apparent came to propose, I told you that everything was to resolve the current predicament, and that the engagement would be called off once things calmed down. Now it seems… it will not be so easy. The Emperor came to see me a few days ago, asking if I was willing to go into the palace with him again. I dared not let him know the details of the engagement, much less mention breaking off the engagement with the Heir Apparent, so I had to remain vague for now. Yesterday, the Emperor sent a eunuch to bestow an incense burner upon me, making me even more uneasy. If this continues, the engagement with the Heir Apparent will not be canceled, and the sixth day of the ninth month will arrive in the blink of an eye. I am afraid…” In the end, she truly had no choice but to marry the heir apparent.

Lady Pan listened, pondering for a long time before saying, “From the beginning, I felt this matter was extremely dangerous, but we had no other option but to go along with the plan. The old lady also mentioned it to me a few days ago; now we are in a dilemma. I am afraid that breaking off the engagement will offend the Emperor, and if he questions us, the entire Zhang family will be implicated.”

Surou blushed and stammered, “Because of me, the whole family has been living in fear. I feel very guilty.”

Lady Pan sighed, “What’s the use of saying this now? This matter must be resolved satisfactorily. The old lady talked to me a lot the other day; I know she was afraid I would not agree, afraid I’d still be resentful about your father’s death…”

She suddenly fell silent, the bitterness in her heart welling up on her lips.

Surou’s heart clenched with pain, and she said sadly, “Mother, do not be sad…”

Lady Pan waved her hand. “To be honest, how can I not feel resentful? Twelve years… Your father has been dead for twelve years. When he passed away, your younger siblings were just learning to walk. But can old grudges really be held onto forever? I am not the kind of person who does not know what’s important. With such a crucial matter before us, I cannot interfere and drag the whole family down. But that does not mean I can accept this marriage. I originally thought you should be matched with an ordinary person to live a peaceful and stable life. I hoped you would not marry a military general, especially not this one. It’s also related to Longyou…”

“Longyou is the most turbulent place, with wars every few years. Men are always risking their lives on the battlefield. How much energy do you have to expend on life and death? I’ve always been afraid that you sisters would follow in my footsteps, so I found a husband for Zhirou. The man is a civil official; as long as he does not have to fight, I am at ease. But you… if you really marry the heir apparent, what will you do, living in constant fear for the rest of your life?”

She was usually a quiet person, but today she spoke so much in one breath, and every word was filled with concern for her children. Surou realized that she truly considered her her own child. However, she was usually protected by her grandmother and was not very close to her, having neglected her concerns. Thinking of this, her eyes reddened, and she lowered her head, saying, “I understand Mother’s meaning, and I know how hard you’ve worked all these years.”

Lady Pan shook her head sadly. “My biggest regret in this life is marrying your father, and I hate him even more for abandoning us, widow and orphan, and leaving us first. I thought things would be better among the younger generation, at least avoiding military generals, but who knew that after all this time, you’d still be entangled with the heir apparent?” Having said this, she let out a long sigh. “Everything is fate. Heaven must have already arranged it. You do not need to worry about me; just do what you believe is right.”

Surou choked up, unable to find the words to express her feelings. She paused briefly before saying, “Yesterday I promised the heir apparent that I would consult with Mother and Father before deciding whether to marry him on the sixth day of the ninth month. In my heart, Mother’s opinion is crucial. If you do not agree, then I will think of another way.”

Lady Pan shook her head again. “Resentment is resentment, and kindness is kindness; they cannot be confused. The tide has turned, and we can no longer control our own destiny. Since we cannot grasp our fate, we should choose the simplest and most advantageous path. What do old and new grudges matter? Maintaining the current peace is paramount.”

Those last few words carried a decisive and ruthless air. Surou suddenly understood. She had been worried that her stepmother would not agree, worried about hurting her feelings; now it seemed her worries were unfounded. With the future and peace of the whole family at hand, nothing was truly unyielding.

She breathed a sigh of relief, turning to watch the sunset gradually sink. That evening, Zhirou and Jiezhi had also come together. This was the first time the closest family members had eaten together alone. During the meal, the topic turned to Zhirou’s marriage. The Founding Duke’s family would be coming to request a wedding date in a couple of days. Since the sisters were all close in age, the Zhang family’s doorstep had been practically worn down by suitors this year; they were quite prosperous.

Surou then asked Jiezhi, “Grandmother said the other day that she’d taken a liking to the granddaughter of a Grand Secretary of the Zizheng Hall. When do you plan to propose?”

Jiezhi was a little embarrassed and said shyly, “It’s too early to propose now. I told Grandmother that I should at least wait until I’ve achieved some success in the imperial examinations, so it will be a proper explanation to them.”

Lady Pan served them food, saying, “If you miss this opportunity, you will never have another one. What if the girl is already engaged by the time you pass the autumn examinations?”

Jiezhi laughed. “Then I will wait until later. There are plenty of good girls out there. As long as I become successful, a discerning girl will surely take a liking to me.” His confident words made everyone laugh.

After dinner, Zhirou escorted Surou back to Qiandui Xue Courtyard, and they discussed Surou’s marriage to the heir apparent. Zhirou said, “There are indeed rumors flying everywhere. Yesterday, when I went out to pick out embroidery thread, I overheard people gossiping, saying with certainty that the Zhang family was going to break off the engagement. It’s infuriating.”

Surou gave a bitter smile. “So there’s no way to break it off now; we can only go all the way.”

“The day the heir apparent came to propose, I thought he was perfect in every way, except for one thing that bothered me: it was related to Father’s passing.” Zhirou paced back and forth, gazing into the distance at the garden. Seeing this, she said slowly, “Actually, I cannot remember what Father looks like anymore, and I do not hate the heir apparent that deeply. If it’s more important than entering the palace, I’d rather you marry him. That way, we sisters can still keep in touch. If you enter the palace, it will be as if I’ve lost this sibling; we will never see each other again in this life.”

Surou felt a pang of sadness. She was grateful to be born into such a family, with loving elders and close siblings who did not blame her for the unavoidable situation but instead made things easy for her. She could finally be at peace. She was not a sentimental person; too much sentimentality was burdensome, a lesson she had learned deeply in the palace. Anyway, she did not have high expectations for the young man. If, as a last resort, it was Helian Song, it would not be so hard to accept.

Once the burden in her heart was lifted, she became more cheerful and resumed teaching the noble ladies as usual the next day.

Nowadays, the four refined pursuits were hanging paintings, arranging flowers, burning incense, and brewing tea. The latter three were commonly used by women in their boudoirs, and they had discussed them repeatedly recently. For example, she spent some time teaching flower arranging or incense making, but even that could become tedious. Today, she talked about cooking and taught everyone how to make a dish from Shan Jia Qing Gong ^{(Mountain Dweller’s Pure Offerings)} called Lantian Jade.

Two bottle gourds were placed in clear water. The sleeves were rolled up to reveal a section of lotus-root-like arm. The delicate hands scooped up the water and carefully washed the bottle gourds clean.

“Normally, you do not have the opportunity to cook. If you ever want to show off your skills, then this ‘Lantian Jade’ is the simplest side dish. It’s not for fancy banquets, but it’s perfect for enjoying with a drink.”

As she spoke, she took a knife and peeled the gourd skin. A small pot of water was boiling nearby. The gourd skin was blanched, mashed, and the juice filtered. The filtered juice was as clear and crystalline as Lantian jade. The seasonings were set aside. Then, she cut the gourd flesh into two-inch cubes and placed them in a steamer, saying, “Simmer over low heat until tender. After steaming, dip them in sauce and serve with gourd juice; it’s a common side dish in mountain villages.”

It sounded simple, but for those noble ladies, it was anything but. Forget cooking; even peeling the gourds was a struggle for them, making onlookers anxious.

Surou walked around the aisle, checking on them and repeatedly reminding them to be careful. In the end, even the maids peeled the gourds for them. Seeing this, she could only laugh helplessly. Then, they cut them into pieces, regardless of size, until the gourd flesh was almost ruined. Finally, after getting them all into the steamer, extracting the juice from the peel took a tremendous amount of effort. She sighed inwardly; it was indeed more difficult than she had imagined. She had chosen the simplest task for them, yet they still did not do a satisfactory job.

When they were finally taken out of the steamer, the little dishes were placed on the table, and the appearance of these “Lantian Jade” dishes was quite varied. But no one was discouraged. Even though they didn’t look very good, everyone mustered up the courage to try them. After trying them, they actually thought they were pretty good, and their confidence soared. They clamored to make spring cocoon buns and honey-fried cherries next time.

Surou agreed, and after a few more laughs and conversations, everyone took their leave.

She saw them off to the veranda, watching them leave with her sleeves tucked in. The setting sun slanted across her neck, making her skin feel warm. Turning back to climb the steps, she saw someone at the courtyard gate, still dressed in simple monk’s robes, carrying a white silk umbrella covered with oiled paper.

She stopped. Previously, when meeting the Emperor, she had always been flustered and at a loss, because she had lied and felt uncertain. Now, however, she was at peace. Having convinced herself, she could calm down, consciously adapt to a different identity, and begin to plan for the future, also considering her betrothed’s safety and future.