Spring Message in the Snow – CH 092

Chapter 92

Governess Wu stood there, stunned. When she came to her senses, she was filled with remorse and shame. She slapped herself across the face and stormed off to the backyard.

Meanwhile, Surou, eager to find out what was happening at court, pulled Helian Song into the study in the front courtyard, dismissed the servants, and asked him in a low voice about the progress.

He said, “Since this matter has already been raised, we will submit it to the Secretariat for deliberation. For now, it’s better to remain still and wait for the Emperor’s reply.”

Surou hesitated for a moment, then asked, “What was the Emperor’s reaction?”

He chuckled, “That cunning old fox, he asked me in court what my plans are.”

Surou asked urgently, “And what did you answer?”

“I naturally said it was entirely up to His Majesty’s decision. Right now, with the Jin army causing trouble, my only worry is not being able to lead troops to quell the unrest and restore peace to the border people.” He finished with a smile, “The Emperor is a smart man; it’s futile to try and hide it from him. He knows my thoughts, just as I know his plans.”

Surou sighed, “It’s indeed inconvenient to do anything now. Let’s see how the Secretariat judges it. Whether to stay or leave, they will give us an answer. However… I suspect it will be a delaying tactic for now. The child in Zhiniang’s womb has not been born yet, and we do not know if it’s a boy or a girl. The Emperor will not let go until things are settled on this side.”

Helian Song slowly nodded. “I’ve also been prepared for this, but time is limited. At most, we can delay for another six months. Even if they do not want to let us go, they will.” Seeing her worried expression, he smiled and stroked her face. “Today is Laba Festival. Pack up later, and I will accompany you back to pay our respects to Grandmother.”

Surou, just coming to her senses, said, “Everything’s packed. Everything we need is in the carriage. I heard Pan Tower has a new type of ‘Yin’er cake. Grandmother loves that soft, glutinous thing. Let’s take a couple of portions when we pass by and share them with everyone.”

He agreed. Festivals were the happiest time of year. He went into the inner chamber, changed into an emerald green robe, and put on a fox fur collar. Dressed like this, he surprisingly had the air of a scholar. He then took the large fur cloak from Jie Lu and draped it over her shoulders, carefully fastening the embroidered ribbon at the collar. After looking her over and making sure there were no mistakes, he led her by the hand out of the gate and onto the carriage in the alley.

Today there was no wind, and although the sunlight was dim, it was not as bitterly cold as the previous days. Surou sat in the carriage, lifting the window curtain to look out. The road home passed through the Central Market District. In winter, the steamer stalls on both sides of the road had their bamboo steamers stacked high all day long, and the carriage passed through billowing white smoke, as if one could see the imperial palace just by looking up.

When they reached Pan Tower, the carriage stopped. Helian Song got out and bought two large boxes of freshly steamed pastries, which he had the seller deliver to the carriage behind. He returned carrying an oil-paper package, beaming with joy, saying, “My Lady, look what I bought!” He unfolded it for her to see: dried, spiced rabbit meat, shredded into large and small strips.

Rabbit meat was the perfect delicacy for winter. The dignified princess, forgetting all about decorum, reached out and pinched off a strand, popping it into her mouth and exclaiming, “Delicious! Absolutely amazing!”

Helian Song said, “There’s also wild duck meat, crispy fried dough, and crystal-clear sliced ​​meat. I will buy it all on the way back so you can enjoy it slowly in our room.”

This scene seemed to have only occurred before their marriage. After marriage, they were both busy with their own lives and had not eaten street food in a long time. Surou looked at him. “My Lord, when it’s late at night, let’s go to the Zhouqiao night market for pork skin and fried dumplings, alright?”

He agreed, his eyes softening, “Then we will book a room at Yang Tower, have a good drink, and if we get drunk, we will sleep fully clothed…just my wife and me.”

They smiled at each other, a tacit understanding between husband and wife. Of course, the rabbit meat could not be missed. They ate slowly, finishing just as they reached the Zhang Mansion. They straightened their clothes and got out of the carriage, where a nanny was already waiting.

In the capital, there was a custom that newly married girls must return to their parents’ home for the Laba Festival. On that day, the family would prepare a bowl of Seven Treasures and Five Flavors Porridge, and after paying respects at the ancestral hall, everyone would sit together in the main room to eat. Therefore, Mianmian and Qingrou were both returning today. On Qingrou’s third-day return visit, it just so happened that the Minister of Ceremonies was getting married, and Surou was unable to attend, so she did not get to see Qingrou. It’s been ten days since her wedding; ten days should be enough to see whether Li Shu’an was doing well or not. Therefore, after the customary ancestral worship and porridge eating, Helian Song busied himself showing the elders the fine furs he brought back from Youzhou, while the sisters retreated to the pavilion to chat privately.

Everyone stared intently at Qingrou. “What’s wrong with Young Master Li?”

Qingrou glanced around at everyone, feeling embarrassed by the interrogation-like atmosphere. “Did you not all see him? Nothing… nothing.”

This was clearly a perfunctory answer. Mianmian said, “Third Sister, you know what we are asking. We are asking if your husband treats you well. After your marriage, are you more loving than ever?”

Qingrou choked, her face turning from red to white. Finally, she lowered her head and stammered, “We… have not consummated our marriage.”

“What?” Mianmian exclaimed. “A man like that exists? Looking at his beautiful wife without any reaction? Is he impotent?”

This was strange. Surou was also somewhat bewildered. There had been rumors that Helian Song was impotent, but it turned out to be nonsense. Li Shu’an had never had such a reputation, and Surou had inquired about him extensively before their marriage. How could he be impotent after marriage?

The sisters were filled with anxiety and resentment. Qingrou, seeing their expressions, initially forced a smile but then suddenly burst into tears, tears streaming down her face. She frantically tried to hide her tears with her handkerchief, choking out, “He does not like me. I do not even know what I did wrong.”

“What utter nonsense!” Mianmian jumped three feet high. “If he has no intention of marrying you, why did he marry you? Is it because he thinks the Zhang sisters are easy to bully?” She rolled up her sleeves. “I am going to confront him!”

However, she was naturally dragged back by the others.

This kind of thing could not be forced. Did she think she could force Li Shu’an and Qingrou to consummate their marriage with a few words of beating and scolding? Especially with Li Shu’an’s gloomy personality, the more one pushed him, the more he might dislike Qingrou. Now it was easy to get on a pirate ship, but hard to get off—it had become an age-old problem.

Qingrou felt increasingly embarrassed, but still, as usual, she immediately blamed herself. “It’s because I lack the skills; I do not know how to please my husband.”

Surou disagreed, “How can he expect you to please him in this kind of situation? We are respectable women from respectable families, and we will be proper brides. Husbands and wives should respect each other, not for you to deliberately flatter him. Since he has chosen to marry, he should know how to manage a marriage, not just bring his wife in and leave her there to watch. You married him, not formed an alliance.”

Everyone nodded in agreement, finding the situation utterly absurd. Before the marriage, they had indeed seen Li Shu’an as cold and aloof, assuming it was due to unfamiliarity and that things would improve after marriage. But now, even after marriage, he remained indifferent to Qingrou. Now, even an upright official could not judge a family matter; they could not interfere in someone else’s private life. What to do next? Everyone was at a loss.

Qingrou, unwilling to discuss their bedroom affairs in front of everyone—too embarrassing—vaguely said, “Let’s wait a while. With time, things will get better.”

Zhirou asked, “Is he still hung up on that girl who fell from her horse?”

Qingrou looked up. She was not unaware, but she dared not think about it. A man having a few female confidantes or having affairs—at least they were tangible, real people; there were ways to deal with them. But what if he was still hung up on a memorial tablet? No matter how capable she was, how could she compete with a dead person?

She was on the verge of tears, covering her eyes and saying, “Heavens, this is terrible!”

It was like biting into a fruit and finding only half a worm—utterly disgusting. Everyone could only comfort Qingrou, saying it was just speculation and should not be taken seriously.

Shangrou quickly wiped away her tears, advising, “Do not cry anymore. If your eyes are swollen, it will be hard to explain to Grandmother. A person needs to take two steps forward and one step back. Compared to those who are in the same boat, you’re more upset, but compared to me, it’s not so bad. At least Young Master Li is alive; if anything happens, there’s someone to discuss it with.”

Qingrou looked at Shangrou sadly. “Elder Sister, are we meant to live like this?”

Actually, if this were Zhirou, it would be easy to handle. Lady Pan was not bound by worldly conventions; she could make the decision to let her daughter divorce and remarry. But not Qingrou. Qingrou’s birth mother was out of favor, and her father, concerned with his reputation, would never allow the Zhang family to be disgraced because of her. Therefore, Qingrou’s only option was to endure it, unless Li Shu’an changed his mind.

Everyone sat dejectedly in the pavilion, feeling indignant for her but helpless. Qingrou composed herself and said, “I will be more considerate to him from now on. People are all made of flesh and blood; one day I will win him over.”

However, she repeatedly reminded them not to tell their grandmother about this. Her grandmother’s health had not been good this winter, and she did not want her to be troubled by such matters.

Everyone agreed, and before they knew it, it was lunchtime. They left the pavilion and walked in twos and threes towards the flower hall. Halfway there, Mianmian tugged at Surou’s sleeve. “You were only talking about Third Sister’s matter. Second Sister, I am not doing well at the Earl’s mansion either.”

Surou was slightly surprised. “What’s wrong? Was Young Master Song not very good to you?”

Mianmian pouted. “The Earl’s mansion is in huge debt. A couple of days ago, my mother-in-law actually said she wanted to borrow 200,000 from me for a couple of weeks. So that’s what she was waiting for. And those sisters-in-law and aunts-in-law, they are all pretending to be friendly with me now. Today, they say this brand of satin is good; tomorrow, that brand of rouge is good. I do not know how much I’ve poured into trying to win them over. Now that I think about it, the more I think about it, the more I feel I’ve lost out. Yesterday I had a huge fight with Song Mingchi, asking him why he married me. He just kept saying nice things to me. That man is useless.”

Surou felt helpless. Indeed, every family had its own problems. They’d only been married a short time; not even three rainy seasons or four summers had passed, and all these problems were already surfacing. How difficult it would be to walk this long road of life to the end.

“Did you lend them that 200,000 taels?”

Mianmian’s eyebrows drooped. “Since they asked, how could I refuse? I am counting on this family to make a living, and I could not refuse my in-laws. But I was unhappy, like I’d encountered a thief. I gave the money unwillingly.”

Mianmian could be very generous with small amounts of money, but with a dowry of 400,000 taels gone in just two months after marrying into the family, she immediately sensed something was wrong. The Founding Earl’s mansion was treating her like a sucker.

Surou sighed. “The money you lent out is probably gone for good. Now you need to be wary of them eyeing the remaining dowry. Quickly exchange the cash for safer assets like tea, salt, silk, incense, and rhinoceros horn. Or buy property and land; that way, you will have an excuse if they bring it up again.”

Mianmian hesitated. “I have thought about it, but I am afraid it will be inconvenient without cash on hand. How about this: I keep 20,000 to 30,000 taels for emergencies and exchange the rest.”

She was used to using cash, and since Song Mingchi had no official rank or income, his monthly allowance from the public account was simply not enough. She figured she had to keep some; having some on hand would make things easier.

Surou’s suggestion was good. Mianmian came from a merchant family and had a good understanding of money management; she probably knew how to allocate it. Surou was just mentioning it casually; ultimately, how to divide the 200,000 taels was up to Mianmian. The group headed towards the main hall. Now that the grooms were all married and considered family, the screens were no longer needed to separate them. Men and women sat at separate tables, and Li Shu’an was easily visible. A discreet glance revealed a faint smile on his face; he always appeared refined and cultured, but who would have guessed he possessed such a strange personality?

The sisters’ gazes frequently drifted over, their own emotions tinged with what they knew about the situation. Li Shu’an finally realized what was happening and felt uneasy under everyone’s gaze. Song Mingchi, however, remained nonchalant, clinking his wine cup against his, saying, “Third Brother-in-law, drink up! You scholars should maintain a scholarly air in public. What are you so hesitant about at home? Is it because your wife will not let you drink? I do not think she’s that unapproachable.”

Li Shu’an awkwardly declined, “I really cannot hold my liquor…” Unable to avoid the question, he raised his cup to everyone present, “I toast the elders and all my brothers.”

The Grand Madam, unaware of the situation, still showed extra consideration for the groom, laughing, “Shu’an cannot drink; do not tease him. It will be bad if he gets drunk.”

Everyone clamored that he could not drink. “This Dian Si Feng Quan is not strong liquor; a couple of cups will not hurt.”

In the end, after two cups, Li Shu’an was drunk, and in the end, Jiezhi and Chengzhi had to take him to Qingrou’s courtyard. One was drunk; the other looked after him—a perfect opportunity to deepen their relationship. Encouraged by her sisters, Qingrou went along, changing her clothes and removing her boots without anyone else’s help. But this man, who had been clearly in a daze, was unusually lucid at this moment. When Qingrou tried to loosen his belt, he politely declined, waving his hand and saying it was not necessary.

Qingrou’s hand awkwardly paused, unsure whether to continue or withdraw.

Ten days had passed. For ten days, he had slept in the study every night, which truly puzzled her. She had gone to the study when he was out and had questioned the servants who attended to his writing, but found nothing—nothing that aroused her suspicion.

Qingrou began to wonder. She did not necessarily want intimacy with her husband, nor did she necessarily want to consummate the marriage. She simply could not understand Li Shu’an’s purpose in marrying her, why he wanted to turn a perfectly good young lady into a wife in name only.

He was drunk today. They said people spoke the truth when they were drunk, so she decided to test him. Standing before the bed, she asked, “My Lord, do you hate me?”

Li Shu’an, his eyes half-closed, did not even look at her. “No.”

“Then why?” Qingrou asked, her face flushed. “If you have not decided to be husband and wife, why did you marry me?”

He was clearly impatient, his head throbbing. He covered his eyes with his hand and murmured, “The orders of my parents, the words of the matchmaker…”

A wave of bitterness surged through Qingrou’s body, filling her eyes with tears. She understood. He was marrying to appease his parents. If it were not for their pressure, he would not have married her at all.

What was this? He had inexplicably ruined a young woman’s life. Although Qingrou was weak, she still had a temper. In a moment of anger, she blurted out, “Since that’s the case, why not get a divorce!”

Upon hearing this, he pursed his lips, turned his gaze to her, and stared for a long time. The inner chamber seemed frozen in place, the immense silence almost suffocating.

Actually, Qingrou regretted her words as soon as they left her mouth. Unlike her other sisters in the Zhang family, she did not have the confidence to back her up. If she really wanted a divorce, her father and stepmother would not support her; they would only blame her for disgracing the Zhang family. But the words were already out, and although she was flustered, she still wanted to know Li Shu’an’s reply.

After waiting for a long time, the light in his eyes flared and then died down, finally settling on a mere sneer, “Stop it, I have a terrible headache. Let me sleep for a while.”

She could not quite describe the feeling; she was disappointed, yet also relieved, because she could not imagine how she would react if he agreed. This was the feeling of a powerless concubine’s daughter after suffering injustice: anger, anxiety, panic, fear… Even though it was not her fault, it seemed like she was at fault everywhere. She had no way out but to compromise.

Emerging from the inner chamber, she stood alone on the back veranda, lost in thought. The shade was blinding, and the cold was biting.

A maidservant approached and said softly, “Madam, do not stand here; you will catch a chill.”

She thought it would be better if she caught a chill; if she were delirious from her illness, she would not have to endure this torment.

The ladies in the garden sat together, sipping tea and waiting for news of Qingrou. However, as evening approached, they returned to their room, and Qingrou’s complexion remained poor, indicating no progress had been made in the past half-day.

Everyone felt a pang of regret; it seemed this matter could not be rushed. Today was Laba Festival; it was best to celebrate properly.

The evening feast was even more lavish than the midday meal. Several servants together carried a whole roasted lamb, crispy and golden, to the center of the table. The cook opened the lamb’s belly, revealing a roast goose inside, its cavity stuffed with seasoned glutinous rice—a dish from the previous dynasty called “Hun Yang Mo Hu.” In the end, only roast goose and rice were served. The whole lamb wrapped in its outer layer was given to the servants. Because of the extravagant ingredients, it was only served on Laba Festival to newlywed brides and grooms; it was a rare treat at other times.

The bride’s family was very hospitable. After the meal, the brides and grooms came to express their gratitude, and each of the eldest elders gave them a red envelope. This made the Laba Festival complete.

When they left Suihua Garden, fog rolled in. The lantern hanging on the carriage shaft shone only as a small, round dot, barely illuminating the narrow vertical space. The three sisters said goodbye. Surou watched Mianmian and Qingrou board the carriage before turning back to get in herself. Seeing Qingrou’s lingering gaze at their parting, she felt a pang of heartache.

Surou recalled her own wedding day. The man beside her had gone to great lengths to get into her bed. Why was it that, despite both being men, Li Shu’an possessed such a completely different nature?

“My Lord…” She turned to him and asked, “Are there really men in this world who do not share a bed with their wives?”

Helian Song glanced at her. “A man with a beautiful wife by his side, yet whose heart remains unmoved, is either impotent or has someone else he loves.”

Surou fell silent. Both possibilities were enough to cause headaches.

He immediately understood. “Li Shu’an has gone wrong? No wonder you all looked at him today as if you wanted to devour him alive. I felt something was amiss then.”

Surou tilted her head and glanced at him. “What do you think should be done when faced with a man like this?”

He thought for a moment and said, “If it can be salvaged, it should be done as best as possible. After all, a reputation for divorce would not be good for Third Sister-in-law. But if it cannot be salvaged, a decision should be made sooner rather than later, and the first move should be made to prevent the Li family from finding an opening and turning against you.”

Surou sighed after hearing this. “I am afraid Qingrou herself will not be able to make that decision.”

Then there was nothing that could be done. After all, she had to take care of her own life. Especially with issues like these that could not be discussed openly, hesitating and looking back would only lead to a lifetime of torment.