Spring Message in the Snow – CH 100

Chapter 100

Everyone felt somewhat puzzled. They were already divorced; why was he coming to see her again? What did he want?

Lady Ling wanted to get rid of him immediately, saying, “What a destitute fellow! I am afraid he will tarnish our family’s reputation!”

The Grand Madam also said, “There’s nothing more to it now; you can simply refuse to see him and let him leave.”

But Qingrou had her own ideas. She stood up and said, “Grandmother, I want to see him. He owes me justice. Now that things have come to this, I want to see what he has to say.”

Hearing this, the Grand Madam no longer objected. Only by bravely facing the pain of the past could one let go of everything and start anew.

However, not knowing what Li Shu’an’s intentions were, and not daring to let Qingrou meet him alone, she instructed Nanny Hua to keep a close eye on him, adding, “Keep a little distance from him. He’s in such a sorry state now; be careful he does not do anything rash to harm you.”

Qingrou agreed and was about to go with Nanny Hua when her sisters, naturally worried, offered to accompany her. However, since they could not all be present, they could observe from the distant pavilion.

The group entered the back courtyard. The side gate, usually used by the women to board their carriages, was located in a more secluded spot; presumably, Li Shu’an was too ashamed to request an audience at the main gate.

They escorted her halfway, then watched as Qingrou followed the maid who had led the way. Before Qingrou reached the gate, she saw Li Shu’an standing listlessly outside the threshold. He must have been suffering greatly lately; he had visibly lost weight, and she almost did not recognize him.

Hearing footsteps, he looked up with a mixture of anxiety and anticipation. Seeing her, a flicker of embarrassment crossed his face, but he quickly composed himself and climbed a step.

Qingrou stopped inside the threshold, not approaching, but said, “Young Master, what brings you here today?”

Li Shu’an looked at her. Her face was unadorned, her eyebrows and lips pale, radiating a serene and luminous beauty in the partial sunlight.

Strangely, from their engagement to their marriage, all that time they spent together, he seemed to have never noticed anything remarkable about her. At the time, he only saw her as a burden, a substitute forced upon him by his parents to maintain appearances. It was as if she had never had her own temper or personality; she was just an unloved, powerless illegitimate daughter, destined to live a subservient life in someone else’s household…

But he was wrong. None of the Zhang family’s daughters was abandoned. Her outburst, which drew the entire Zhang family’s attention, made him realize he should not underestimate this illegitimate daughter; she clearly had a powerful family backing her.

He opened his mouth with difficulty. Deep down, he still possessed the pride of a scholar. If he had not been desperate, he would not have dared to set foot in the Zhang family’s house again. Now that he was already here, perhaps he should not dwell on those things anymore… He said awkwardly, “It’s been quite a while since we last met; I’ve come to see my wife.”

Qingrou’s brow furrowed almost imperceptibly, and she said calmly, “I have no further connection with you; Young Master, please do not address me like that.”

Li Shu’an’s embarrassment deepened, and he lowered his head, saying, “It was my presumption; I just called you that without thinking, and I offended you, Third Mistress.”

Qingrou looked at him, feeling that the Li Shu’an of today was indeed very different from before.

Previously, he was the son of the Vice Magistrate of Liangzhou, his studies and examinations proceeding smoothly, passing the imperial examination at the age of nineteen. If it were not for that unforeseen event, his life would have been very brilliant. But it was precisely because of this youthful arrogance, blind self-confidence, and being immersed in so-called infatuation, hurting others without any remorse, that he ended up in this state today. Ultimately, a life of excessive pride required experiencing some hardships to truly understand the difficulty of surviving in this world.

She, not one to speak harshly, maintained her usual refined manners. Seeing him hesitate and remain silent about his purpose, she offered a gentle reminder: “It’s impolite for us to meet now. If you have something to say, please speak plainly. If you have nothing to say, then I will take my leave.”

As she was about to leave, he suddenly became anxious and hastily called out to her, “I’ve come today to beg for your forgiveness. I know I’ve hurt you before, only thinking of my own feelings and never considering yours. Now I understand. I just want to beg you… Please, give me another chance; let me sincerely make amends and atone for my past mistakes.”

He blurted out the words that had been swirling in his heart for so long, feeling a sense of relief, yet also trembling with fear. She remained calm, feigning ignorance as she asked, “What do you mean, young master? Having come this far, do you really want to turn back?”

He saw a glimmer of hope and hurriedly nodded. “I was too arrogant before, not knowing how to cherish what I had. Now, seeing others in pairs, I realize how big a mistake I made and how much of a good match I missed.”

Qingrou listened quietly. If it weren’t for Song Mingchi’s earlier words, she might have genuinely believed he had repented and wanted to come seeking forgiveness and peace of mind. But now, what was the real situation?

She calmly reopened his wounds. “It’s not that you realized how good your previous marriage was; it’s just that after your reputation was ruined, every path was closed. You failed the imperial examination, you could not find a job, and no one was willing to lend you a hand. That’s why you thought of me. Because you know, if I were willing to reconcile with you, the whole capital would think you’d turned over a new leaf. Even if you do not become a high-ranking official, you could at least get a lowly clerk position. Am I right?”

Li Shu’an was stunned, his expression one of astonishment. He had never imagined that this seemingly timid girl could also think independently.

Now, how should he deal with this? He suddenly felt somewhat troubled. He had thought she was weak-willed and that a few sincere words would surely move her. But now, it seemed that was not the case.

What to do? Give up? He had already come this far… He was used to humbling himself these past few months; one more time would not hurt. If he could salvage the relationship, it was better than begging everywhere.

So he rallied his spirits and said sincerely, “Regardless, we’ve already sworn union; we are a proper, legitimate married couple. A young woman’s marriage is important, and so is her reputation. Even if you find another husband, there’s no guarantee they will not look down on you for being married before. Rather than becoming someone’s second wife or concubine, is it not better to rekindle our relationship than start over? Today, I sincerely want your forgiveness. I was young and impetuous before; I was truly wrong. I am willing to mend my ways, treat you wholeheartedly, and never think of anyone else again. Please trust me one more time.”

Qingrou did not reply. The old woman beside her, Nanny Hua, was furious. She said sarcastically, “Young Master Li, you are really too kind, are you not? Worried our young lady will become a concubine or a mistress… After all this fuss, you’ve come to rescue our lady from this hellhole?”

Li Shu’an felt a pang of resentment. Qingrou did not stop Nanny Hua but simply asked him, “What about Fourth Young Lady Yu? Did you not vow to love only her for life? If she knew in the afterlife that you’ve succumbed to the status quo and plan to abandon her, she would be heartbroken, would she not?”

However, what was the point of a dead person’s empty thoughts compared to living well?

Infatuation was a luxury born of comfort, a melancholy born of satiated hunger. Once life became difficult, once the future was hopeless, infatuation became the most useless waste. No one could live on infatuation alone.

Right now, he was like a drowning man, struggling desperately to surface, wanting to throw away all his burdens. He actually hated himself for waking up too late. If he had been able to settle down after marriage, things would not have turned out this way.

“I know I was too foolish before. I should not have brought my longing for her into our marriage. Now I’ve thought it through. I cannot dwell on the past anymore; it will ruin my life. My feelings for her end here. That’s enough for me. From now on, I plan to start over. After all, I am still alive, and I need to look forward.”

Qingrou listened to him and smiled helplessly. Was this what a lovesick fool was like? Once their own interests were threatened, they were faster at extricating themselves than anyone else.

“Go back,” she said indifferently, taking a step back. “We are not destined to be together in this life, so do not force it. I accept your previous repentance and will no longer resent you. From now on, we owe each other nothing. Please take care of yourself and find another good match.”

Hearing her resolute refusal, he panicked. “Third Mistress… Qingrou, we were husband and wife for a time. Can you bear to see me fail so miserably?”

He tried to approach her, but was stopped by Nanny Hua and the old woman at the door. Nanny Hua said, “Second Young Master Li, your success or failure is none of our young mistress’s business. Even if you die, our young mistress will not shed a single tear for you. Do not worry, our young mistress will only get better and better. The only one who will suffer is you. Do not drag our young mistress down with you. Also, you may not know, our young mistress is about to get engaged. The groom is a proper court official, a successful candidate in the civil service. He has never been married before, nor has he ever lost a fiancée. He only has our young lady in his heart and treats her like a treasure. Every time he wants to see our young lady, he travels for several hours without complaint. Even our old lady praises his sincerity; he’s far better than you. Now that we’ve laid everything bare, I am not afraid you will be angry. Just do not come again, lest people gossip behind our backs and ruin our young lady’s reputation.”

Li Shu’an was stunned. “Only a few days… and you are already engaged?”

Qingrou did not answer him, only saying, “Nanny Hua is right. Since we are divorced, there should be no further contact. You yourself said a young lady’s reputation is important. I’ve already embarrassed myself enough; please do not make things worse for me, young master.”

After saying this, she turned and walked away. Li Shu’an, still unwilling to give up, called out “Third Lady,” trying to chase after her, but was finally driven away by the guards at the door.

The sisters in the flower pavilion, seeing Qingrou return radiantly, all came out to greet her. She laughed and said, “I’ve finally let out that pent-up anger and let him taste the bitterness of humiliation. It turns out his loyalty is worthless. I thought he would not regret it, that he’d always be loyal to Fourth Young Lady Yu, but in the end, he’s nothing but a hypocrite. What deep affection! He just threw it away like that.”

Everyone sighed. What was once a perfect match had been destroyed by their own hands, and now they wanted to salvage it. Who would wait for him? Li Shu’an had once spoken ill of Qingrou, saying she had brought this humiliation upon herself; now, he had delivered himself to her doorstep, a kind of retribution.

Anyway, it was good that nothing had happened. Surou, thinking of Zhiniang, bid farewell to her elders and sisters, and, taking advantage of the early hour, hurried back to the Prince’s Mansion.

Not long after arriving home, the kitchen began preparing dinner. Just as she was about to send someone to ask what Zhiniang wanted to eat, a maidservant from Hengfen Courtyard rushed in to report that Lady Yan’s back pain was worsening and that the princess should go and check on her quickly.

Nanny Fu, experienced in childbirth and having served several ladies during their postpartum period, immediately recognized this as a sign of impending labor. She hurriedly said, “Madam, summon the midwife; it seems news has arrived.”

Surou glanced at Helian Song, who understood, and hurriedly left.

The household midwife was already available, prepared to assist Zhiniang’s delivery. Surou sent someone to deliver a message, while she herself quickly went to Hengfen Courtyard to check on her.

At this moment, Zhiniang’s water had just broken; the chair and the floor were soaked. This was her first time giving birth, and she stood there helplessly, completely at a loss. Luckily, Governess Wu was there, busily ordering clean, soft clothes, saying, “From the moment your water breaks until delivery, there’s a considerable amount of time still. Do not panic; take your time.”

Surou also comforted her, saying it was alright, “My sister-in-law recently gave birth to twins; it was very difficult, but both mother and babies were safe. Your delivery will be smooth sailing. Anyway, do not panic. I will have someone prepare some food for you to tide you over, so you will have the strength for the delivery.”

Zhiniang agreed, remaining as steady as a mountain, only glancing outside and asking routinely, “My Lady, where is my master?”

Surou replied, “He’s gone to prepare; he will be back in a bit. Do not be afraid.”

The so-called “preparation” naturally referred to preparing for a baby boy. It was said that somewhere in the city, arrangements had been made for poor pregnant women with delivery dates around the same time as Zhiniang’s; a child had just been born yesterday, and in case it was needed, they could bring the baby directly in.

Zhiniang understood and obediently agreed. After the maidservant helped her change, she lay down.

At this moment, the midwife entered from outside, first bowing to the Princess, then performing the routine check behind the curtain. After checking, she returned and reported that it was still early, at the earliest around midnight.

Zhiniang smiled through the curtain. “Do not worry, Your Highness. You go back and rest. Once the baby is born, I will bring it over for you and the master to see.”

This remark earned her a scolding from Governess Wu, who sighed that there were people in the world who did not take themselves seriously. At the same time, she felt sorry for Zhiniang, a girl without parents to support her, living cautiously, even prioritizing the lady’s happiness in such a significant event as childbirth.

Fortunately, the Princess was not so heartless. She did not prevent the Master from visiting, but instead told Zhiniang, “Just focus on your delivery and do not worry about anything. The Master and I will wait for your news in the outer room.”

A short while later, Helian Song entered and leaned in to ask Zhiniang, “How are you feeling?”

Zhiniang smiled and said that everything was fine, “Do not worry, Master.”

At this moment, food was brought in from the kitchen. Zhiniang had been given mutton fat cakes and chicken noodle soup. Surou watched her finish eating before she and Helian Song retreated to the west flower hall. Time seemed to pass very slowly. Both of them were anxious, only eating a few bites before having the food removed, and began to wait patiently for news from the delivery room.

Finally, a servant came to report that Lady Yan had started having contractions, and the midwife had ordered preparations to be made.

Surou stood up and went to the door. The main room door was ajar. A water-boiling woman had placed a whole bucket of water on the veranda, ready for use. Maids could be seen going in and out frequently. After a while, all the servants in the inner room were sent out, leaving only the midwife and two pre-arranged maids to deliver the baby.

Turning back to look at Helian Song, Surou asked, “Is everything alright?”

He nodded and gave a wink towards the courtyard gate. Maids with baskets were already waiting by the wall. The newborn baby had been fed and was sleeping, so no one would notice. The servants in the courtyard had all retreated to the backyard under the pretext of avoiding the taboo of the baby’s zodiac sign, so everything was safe.

Surou took a deep breath and smiled, “I am even more nervous than if I were the one giving birth myself.”

He squeezed her hand. “I hope Heaven will have mercy and give birth to a boy. A son resembles his mother, which will help me deal with the court officials and the Emperor.”

So now, besides praying, there was nothing anyone could do. The water clock ticked, time passed slowly, and Surou, preoccupied with the delivery room, would occasionally rise and peer through the corridor. It was quiet there; not even a groan or scream from the woman in labor could be heard. Surou truly admired Zhiniang; she used every ounce of her strength on the knife. Such strong conviction was something she herself probably could not achieve.

The servants bustled about methodically, changing water. The blood-stained water splashed on the corner of the wall, its deep ripples visible in the bright moonlight, and the air seemed to be filled with the stench of blood. Surou stood at the door, rubbing her hands, and waited for about the time it took to drink two cups of tea. Suddenly, the main door of the house opened wide, and a midwife came out carrying a swaddled baby. They hurried to greet her, and the midwife bowed to them, smiling, and said, “Congratulations, Your Highness and Your Highness! It’s a little prince!”

Surou was overjoyed. She went forward to look at the child and asked the midwife, “How is Lady Yan’s health?”

The midwife replied, “She’s a little anemic, but it’s nothing serious. With proper care, she can recover.” She then handed the swaddled baby forward, gesturing for them to take it.

Although Helian Song hesitated to take it, he still mustered his courage and took it. The newborn baby was truly ugly, crying with its mouth open, its face red and swollen, though its features still showed a hint of its mother’s. Because this child was the key to their departure from the capital, they did not mind his appearance and handed him to Surou, laughing, “Such a small child, yet he has such a loud voice!”

Surou held him in her arms, gently rocking him and playfully teasing him, saying, “He’s probably hungry.” She quickly called the wet nurse over to feed him.

The blood chamber was not properly cleaned, and it was not advisable to go in yet. Only after the maids and servants thoroughly swept and cleaned it and lit incense again did the two of them enter to visit Zhiniang.

First, let her see the child. She looked at him, both crying and laughing, “Finally, I have not let down My Lord and Lady.” Then she looked at Helian Song, “This humble servant dares to beg My Lord to bestow a name upon him.”

Helian Song said, “Let him be named Yun. May his character be as firm as metal and stone, his six reins balanced, and may he, like his father, become a useful person.”

The young woman nodded repeatedly. “Thank you, My Lord; Yun will be the name.”

Although he would bear the surname Helian from now on, when he grows up and understands, he would be told that his father’s surname was Xin. Xin Yun—sounding very beautiful, too.

Upon hearing the news, Governess Wu rushed over, tears streaming down her face. She held the child, looking at him again and again, murmuring, “Heaven help us! The young master has an heir! Look how strong and adorable our little prince is! He will surely be as brave and skilled as his father, able to ride horses and shoot arrows, becoming a first-rate warrior of Longyou.”

This was not wrong; after all, those who had infiltrated the capital were no ordinary people, and the child’s father was indeed a first-rate sentry.

Helian Song smiled at Governess Wu. “Nanny, it’s best not to trouble two people. From now on, I will trouble you to take good care of this child.”

Governess Wu was very moved by his entrustment and immediately agreed, “Do not worry, Master, I will take good care of the little young master and never let him suffer any injustice.”

Zhiniang, on the other hand, was unassuming and easygoing, but this child was the Master’s eldest son, and as the eldest son, he was bound to attract jealousy.

Governess Wu’s gaze intentionally or unintentionally drifted to the Princess’s face, trying to find even a hint of disappointment in her eyes, but there was none. She remained serene, instructing the maid beside her to serve her well. “When she gets out of bed or needs to use the toilet, make sure two people support her; do not let her strain her legs.”

Strange, it had been more than half a year since the marriage, and her own belly showed no signs of pregnancy. Now that her concubine had given birth, was she not even a little bit jealous? She could even make such thoughtful arrangements and give such careful instructions; such magnanimity was rare.

Just as Governess Wu was muttering to herself, Surou looked at her and smiled, “The new mother and child need care, so you will have to work hard tonight, Nanny.” She then turned to her husband and said, “It’s getting late. We have to go to the palace to report tomorrow. Go back and rest.”