Spring Message in the Snow – CH 105

Chapter 105

Surou watched the departing carriage, her heart pounding. She turned to Sujie and said, “Thank you so much today. Otherwise, Her Highness might not have been willing to get involved.”

Sujie waved her hand. “Do not say that. I remember your kindness to me, too. You were the one who helped me, saving me from falling into the Ye family’s quagmire. Now that you’ve encountered difficulties, how can we stand idly by? It’s just a pity…” She glanced down at her belly, “…otherwise, we could wait at the palace gates and find out what’s happening inside immediately.”

Surou shook her head, feeling a pang of fear. She feared approaching the Forbidden City and seeing the Emperor. This once upright gentleman had become so terrifying. Perhaps she had only seen his unapproachable aura before, unaware of his ruthless cruelty when wielding power—that was his true nature.

Meanwhile, the Imperial Princess’s carriage arrived at the Gongchen Gate. Because she was the Emperor’s elder sister, she did not need to go through the proper channels of announcement. Having ascertained the person’s location, the eunuch serving before the palace said they were in Jingfu Hall. The Princess then crossed the central path and entered the rear pavilion.

Upon entering the palace gate, she saw An Sheng standing in the corridor. Upon seeing her, An Sheng hurriedly stepped forward to greet her.

The Princess glanced inside. “How is it?”

An Sheng feigned reluctance. “Your Highness, please go in and see for yourself.” She gestured for the eunuch to go inside and report.

But whether the Emperor hesitated to see her or not, it was quite a while before the eunuch emerged, bowing and gesturing, “His Majesty invites Your Highness inside.”

The Princess lifted her skirt and stepped across the threshold. This rear pavilion was usually used by the Emperor for rest; its simple furnishings made the room seem particularly spacious. A strong spring breeze suddenly blew up the curtains, causing the blue gauze curtains to billow rapidly, as if everything were on the verge of collapse.

The Emperor finally appeared, emerging from the inner chambers. His expression was alright, though more stern than usual. He glanced indifferently at the Imperial Princess. “Did they send my elder sister to plead with me?”

The Princess paused slightly, then thought for a moment before replying, “It was Surou who sent me to see the Emperor.”

The Emperor scoffed, “What does she lack? A man willing to lose his official position and title for her—that’s a lifelong honor.”

The more he said this, the more petty and narrow-minded he appeared. This was not the magnanimity expected of a ruler. Even the Princess felt he had gone too far. “In court today, was there not a single person who agreed with your approach? How did Your Majesty come up with such an idea?”

The Emperor averted his gaze. “I am doing this for the sake of the nation! The court has been restraining Longyou for twelve years. During those twelve years, Helian Song was in the capital, tamed by the Central Plains, but he still has a wild streak in his bones. Can you not see that, elder sister? A mere illegitimate son is insignificant. I want him to keep the legitimate son in the capital, because only the legitimate son can inherit the title, and only then can the court continue to control Longyou. What’s wrong with what I am doing?”

The Princess frowned. “Listen to yourself. A son born of a concubine isn’t his own flesh and blood, and he doesn’t care? He should have kept the legitimate son in the capital, but right now there’s internal strife in Longyou, and the Prince of Wukang is seriously ill. If power falls into the hands of those who advocate war, has the Emperor considered the consequences? In the end, you’re just unwilling to accept it. You’re mixing the affairs of the country with your personal feelings. If Father knew what you’re doing now, what would he think?”

The Emperor paused. “Is Eldest Sister here to lecture me?”

The Imperial Princess said no, “I just do not want to see you go mad. How could a mere Zhang Surou make you so obsessed and confused? You once vowed to be a wise and benevolent ruler. For the sake of unifying the country, let alone Zhang Surou, even if Helian Song took a fancy to one of your concubines, you should have found a way to send her away. That’s the forbearance and magnanimity of a monarch! What’s wrong with you now? They’ve been married for over half a year, and you still have not moved on? You insist on using the political situation to suppress them. If the fire really breaks out, will Your Majesty not regret it?”

They, siblings, grew up together. Although outwardly they were ruler and subject, their kinship was unbreakable. Behind closed doors, one was the elder sister, and the other the younger brother.

The Emperor, rebuked like this, felt deeply wronged. The frustration of being the ruler of the land yet powerless left him weary. He nodded slowly, then said in despair, “Yes, elder sister is right. I just cannot get over it. The more I think about it, the more frustrated and humiliated I feel. Zhang Surou is clearly a palace woman; she should have been mine. Why am I so afraid of Helian Song? Why do I have to give up and grant his wish just because he says he wants her? I am the Emperor, the ruler of this prosperous dynasty, yet I cannot even keep a woman I love. I have to play along, pretending to be the villain, and pushing her into someone else’s arms. Why?!”

“Because you are the Emperor, because you are the ruler. Your Majesty, you must make a critical decision. Do not let yourself become a laughingstock among the entire court.” Seeing his dejected state, the Imperial Princess felt a pang of heartache and sighed, “In life, there are gains and losses. You want both the empire and the beauty; would that not make you a foolish ruler? Ah Chen, you are not that kind of person in your elder sister’s eyes. You stand atop a mountain; you should look down upon the outside world, not jump into worldly affairs and compete with your ministers for a woman.”

He understood the principle and knew he was wrong, but obsessions, the more suppressed they were, the more distorted they became. He was starting to lose control of them—jealousy, anger, madness, constant longing… He even regretted not detaining her at Qinghui Palace that time; if he had truly obtained her, he would not be so tormented.

However, he was ashamed to speak of it, and he despised his own thoughts. Reason and emotion were violently torn apart, almost crushing him. He wanted to do as he pleased, yet he could not truly disregard everything—this was the root of his suffering. Now that his elder sister was lecturing him again, he felt even more upset and shouted uncontrollably, “There are so many women in the world, why did he have to fall for Zhang Surou!”

The Imperial Princess pursed her lips and remained silent, only staring at him with withered brows. After a long while, she finally spoke: “Your Majesty should ask yourself these questions. You have more than you can count on two hands. Are you really missing Zhang Surou? Ask yourself honestly, do you truly love Zhang Surou deeply, or are you simply unwilling because Helian intercepted her halfway? If Zhang Surou had entered the palace in the first place, whether you had bestowed upon her the title of County Princess or Imperial Concubine, how long could you have monopolized her favor? Would you have defied the world for her? You feel it would be beneath your imperial dignity simply because you did not obtain her? To be dignified is to torment oneself. Take, for example, a beautiful piece of porcelain; you only truly appreciate it when viewed from afar. If you were to use it to serve food, would you still find it exquisite?”

The Emperor, bewildered by her long-winded lecture, paced back and forth in the pavilion, muttering to himself, “Always controlled by others… The real hostage is not Helian Song; it’s me…”

In truth, everyone experienced moments of unfulfilled desires, and the agonizing feeling was unbearable. The Princess knew this all too well. She looked sadly at her younger brother. From the day he ascended the throne, self-restraint had been his constant companion. He had always behaved well; why had he stumbled over this woman?

Her earlier harsh words stemmed from genuine anger at his lack of self-control, but now, having calmed down, she should speak to him kindly.

She pulled him aside, and the two siblings sat on the steps inside the pavilion. She said, “Your Majesty, you’ve grown up. After so many years as Emperor, is forbearance for the greater good not commonplace? I know you may truly love Zhang Surou, but so what? She’s already Helian Song’s wife. You should let go of that thought. Instead of agonizing over making his illegitimate son legitimate, why not discuss it with them and have them send their legitimate son to the capital to be granted a title ten years later? That would truly demonstrate your magnanimity as Emperor. Why force yourself into such a difficult situation? Besides, you’ve been friends with Helian for so many years; do you not know his character? Have all those years of education in the Central Plains been for nothing? Was he not a stubborn young man who looked down on you when he first arrived in the capital? The court restrains Longyou, and Longyou submits to the court. There’s a balance of power between them, ensuring peace for at least a century. That’s enough.”

But after she spoke for a long time, he seemed not to hear her, cupping his face in his hands, bowing his head, and saying in a trembling voice, “Elder Sister, go back; let me think about it some more.”

The Imperial Princess suddenly heard his voice choked with sobs and panicked, grabbing his arm, saying, “Ah Chen, what are you doing?”

The Emperor’s hand was forcibly pulled from his face, and he felt extremely embarrassed, hurriedly avoiding her gaze, only saying, “It’s nothing. Elder Sister, do not worry about this; go back quickly.”

He broke free, hurriedly got up, and walked to the window. The Imperial Princess watched his retreating figure, suddenly bewildered, never expecting such pain to throw him into such disarray.

How could she comfort him? He had already taken it to heart; no wonder he could not find relief. She thought for a long time, then stood up and said, “The worst thing in a relationship is unrequited love. The more passionate you are, the more you will scare her away. You’d be better off using your royal strategies. When she returns to the capital to visit her family, you can meet again.”

The Emperor seemed slightly moved by her words. His tense shoulders slowly relaxed, and he sighed, “Elder Sister is right. If we cannot make her love us, then it’s better to make her fear us. Elder Sister, please pass on my message to her: I can allow them to return to Longyou, but before that, I need to speak with her in person. There are a few more things I want to say to her. There’s no need for her to come to the palace. Tomorrow at Pan Tower, I will arrange a tea session for her at noon. I hope she can attend.”

The Princess hesitated. “Just her alone?”

The Emperor was somewhat displeased. “Should we expect her to bring her family?” His expression suddenly turned cold. “If Helian Song is worried, he can wait outside. Just do not let me see him.”

The Princess quickly agreed. Now that things had come to this point, and he had agreed to let the couple leave, it was a good sign. In any case, to ultimately achieve their goal, seeing them again should not be difficult.

The Imperial Princess returned to the Duke of Wen’s Mansion with his message. Surou was still waiting for her news there.

Perhaps due to her haste, she moved from the flower hall to the front porch. Hearing the sound of horses’ hooves outside, she immediately rushed out to greet her, asking, “Your Highness, what did the Emperor say?”

The Princess took her hand and led her inside, saying as they walked, “I practically wore my lips out trying to persuade him, and finally he changed his mind and agreed to let you go to Longyou together. But before that, the Emperor wants to see you one more time.”

Surou’s face showed reluctance. “One more time…?”

Standing in front of the flower hall, Sujie heard this and muttered, “Why is His Majesty so indecisive? What else is there to see?!”

Although the Imperial Princess disagreed with the Emperor’s actions, she could understand his predicament. She sighed, “He’s only human. Humans have emotions and desires and are sometimes powerless to control their own lives. I talked to him a lot before, offering guidance where needed and reprimanding him where necessary. I saw that he… was truly heartbroken. We cannot forget that he has feelings just because he’s the Emperor. Unrequited love and restless nights—who in this world is not like that?” She then looked at Surou. “I always thought he was cold-hearted, but now it seems he does take some people to heart. Anyway, go see him. You will not go into the palace; we will meet at Pan Tower tomorrow at noon. It’s a busy place, so do not worry.”

Surou nodded. “It’s best to be frank and open. I will definitely be there on time tomorrow.”

When she returned, she told Helian Song about it. Of course, he was unhappy. He said with a long face, “He cannot just see someone else’s wife whenever he wants. I will go to the palace to meet the Emperor myself another day and see what he thinks.”

Surou was helpless. “Now that we’re under someone else’s thumb, we still have to bow when necessary. Do you expect me to stand straight and him to kowtow until his head bleeds before you are happy? I’m thinking that since we agreed to meet at Pan Tower, it’s a concession from the Emperor. If he summoned me to the palace, I’d truly be risking never returning. Do not worry, I will handle it carefully. The Emperor also has his pride. If he wanted to make things difficult for me, why meet at Pan Tower?”

Helian Song was still displeased. After thinking for a moment, he said, “I will go with you tomorrow. If he does not want to see me, I can book a room next door, right?”

These were all minor matters, best left unattended; we would deal with them as they came.

After a busy day, it was already dinnertime. The kitchen staff brought food boxes into the main room. This time, Governess Wu came personally, taking the bowls and dishes from the servants and placing them on the table. She looked at Helian Song, hesitating several times before finally sighing heavily and lowering her eyes, saying, “My Lord, you’ve been far too reckless this time. Resigning your title in court—are you not afraid of betraying the teachings of the Prince of Longyou and his consort?”

The implication was that she resented him for giving up his title because of a woman, and there was likely a hint of blame for Surou being a femme fatale.

These past few days had been chaotic; everyone was worried about this matter. Helian Song had lost his usual good temper and was impatient to deal with it. Moreover, there were still matters to discuss with the Emperor, so his anger was almost uncontrollable.

But before he could speak, Surou interrupted him, calmly saying to Governess Wu, “I do not know what I’ve done wrong. From the day I entered the household, I’ve been the one who has given you trouble. Even today, you still think that my husband has lost more than he gained by giving up his title and official position for me. To me, that’s truly disheartening. Nanny, you’re an outsider and don’t know how deep our love is, so why should you act like a petty person? I usually don’t hold it against you because I respect you as my husband’s wet nurse, and I tolerate any offense you may have caused. But this time, I hope you won’t interfere in our affairs. My husband isn’t an ignorant child; he can manage thousands of troops, and naturally, he can make his own decisions.”

Governess Wu was speechless, staring blankly for a long time before finally saying, “What are you saying, Your Highness…”

But before she could finish, she saw the Princess raise her hand. “Stop talking; the more you say, the worse it gets. You’d better save some face. If you want to stay in the capital, stay and take care of Zhiniang and Yun’er. If not, I will send someone to take you back to Longyou. Nanny has worked hard all these years, and now that you are older, it’s time for you to enjoy your retirement. Why not go back to your daughter and husband and live a few peaceful years?”

This time, Governess Wu was speechless. She looked at the son she had nursed; his face was expressionless, showing no emotion whatsoever. It seemed he was on his wife’s side.

The young couple then ignored her completely, continuing to eat their meal. Governess Wu stood there blankly for a while, then suddenly felt utterly bored and left, her head bowed in embarrassment.

Surou’s mind was not preoccupied with these trivial squabbles. The next day, she accepted the invitation to Pan Tower. Upon entering, someone greeted her with a bow and addressed her as “Your Highness,” gesturing, “Please follow me.”

Pan Tower was as bustling as ever, but the people around her seemed different from the ordinary guests. Helian Song naturally recognized them and glanced upstairs. “Which room is His Majesty in?”

The steward did not answer in detail, only saying, “The upstairs is already booked. Your Highness, please condescend to rest in one of the smaller rooms.”

The Emperor’s methods remained as thorough as ever, leaving no room for interference. Helian Song did not say much, turning to Surou and instructing, “I will be downstairs. If you need anything, just call me loudly.”

Surou responded, giving him a reassuring look before following the steward up the steps. Once inside the room, although the straight-lattice door behind her was closed, the sliding windows facing the river were wide open.

The windows of Pan Tower were enormous, almost taking up the entire wall, offering a panoramic view of the river and the magnolia trees that had grown to two stories high. The Emperor stood before the window, dressed in a sky-blue robe, his jade sash fluttering in the wind; from behind, he resembled a refined scholar.

She composed herself and gave him a curtsy. “Your Majesty,” she said, “I have come to keep our appointment.”

He responded with a faint “Oh,” without turning around.

Some things could not be said face-to-face, because they could not be uttered. He stared blankly at the Bian River, where boats came and went, for a long while before finally saying, “My actions these past few days must have made you hate me even more!”

To say no would be too hypocritical, Surou said, “Your Majesty must have your reasons; I dare not presume to speak.”

He shook his head. “I was indeed driven by selfish motives. I wanted to separate you, to keep you in the capital; even just watching you from afar would have been enough for me. But now it seems my efforts have been in vain. I cannot separate you. Helian would rather give up his title than divorce you. Actually, I am not stupid. I know he’s confident because the war in Longyou is critical; he knows I cannot do anything to him. I really cannot do anything to him. I am so resentful, I hate my own powerlessness, and I hate how arrogant he is. I even thought about killing him, but in the end… I could not. What should I do now? I’ve offended my friend of over ten years, and the woman I like hates me. I am truly alone. You probably do not understand why I am so certain I like you. It’s out of regret, out of jealousy. But so what? Is liking born from regret and jealousy, not still liking? I think that kind of feeling is even more unforgettable.”

He spoke very clearly. When the heart that was too ashamed to speak of could be revealed without concealment, it did not seem so sordid anymore.

Surou glimpsed a hint of despair in his words, and it was precisely this despair that made the conversation much more sincere.

She calmed down and said softly, “Your Majesty, there’s no need for this. Have you ever considered that the reason you cannot forget me is that it was Jie Ran who married me? Perhaps if it were someone else, Your Majesty would not find it so hard to let go.”

This seemed to make sense. Even close friends often harbored a bit of rivalry, largely due to differing perspectives. The older one got, the less pure the friendship became.

The Emperor sighed softly. “Yesterday, the Imperial Princess came to the palace at your request and said quite a lot. I’ve thought about it carefully, and it’s time to put an end to this.” He turned around, his gaze lightly sweeping over the gate. “He’s waiting downstairs. Let’s keep it brief and avoid any misunderstandings. I love you; that’s true. I might not be able to forget you for three to five years. So, if he treats you badly when you go to Longyou, and you want to come back, I will be waiting for you in the capital.”

Surou nodded. Although she knew in her heart that even if Helian Song betrayed her, she would not return to the capital, she still owed the Emperor a favor; at least he had provided her with a way out.

Those eyes looked at her again, their affection slowly turning icy. “I originally wanted Helian to take that concubine away, using the bond between mother and son to solidify the connection between Longyou and the capital, but now it seems futile. He wants to take you with him, so be it, I will let you go. After all, the lives of the entire Zhang family are far more important to you than that illegitimate son.”

He finished speaking and smiled coldly. “Since we are not talking about personal desires, let’s talk about the bigger picture. I only need you to remember one thing: the safety of Longyou is the safety of the Zhang family. If there’s any unrest in Longyou, then the Zhang family’s situation will be in danger. You are the closest of kin to the Zhang family; you will surely keep the future Prince of Wukang in check for me, will you not, Princess Consort?”